Previously on Warehouse 13...
So you know. It's MacPherson. I'm right.
Yes, I'm afraid you are.
And he now has a sword which renders him invisible.
Now it's up to you to stop him.
You always hurt the one you love.
Artie!
No! No, no!
Okay, just stop. Okay? Stop and think this through.
Uh, guess what? I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Turn around.
No, MacPherson is alive. And he's loose somewhere in the world.
Stopping MacPherson is not your job. My what?
Protecting the world happens to be my job,
and right now, that is being threatened
by an insane ex-Warehouse agent
who is competing for artifacts that belong right out there.
Mrs. Frederic said that she would handle it.
I can do it.
Artie, he ran a sword through your chest.
I'm all right.
You could have died.
Please, just let Mrs. Frederic handle it, okay?
This... This is your job, Artie,
and you're not doing it.
You have Pete, Myka and Claudia spread out through the Warehouse
taking inventory for you day after day.
Meanwhile, all of... Yeah, all these things are piling up.
Yes, they are. All right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm pretty hard to kill.
Pete?
Yeah Really What's all this?
Pete?
Nice one. Did not see that coming.
Hey.
Playing with yourself again?
One game. A quickie. We got time.
Besides, none of this stuff's going anywhere. Right, buddy?
Okay, this stuff is dangerous, all right?
All right. This is Lewis Carroll's mirror.
Alice in Wonderland, "Off with their heads."
That's chick lit right? Chick lit.
Right. I mean, come on,
not everything in here is dangerous.
You got that cuddly, little ferret from a cooking pot.
Yeah. He peed in my shoes.
That was... That was me.
That's funny.
So, what, are you still mad at Artie?
No.
No. I'm not. I'm not mad at Artie.
No, I'm mad at you. No, you're not mad at me.
Yes, I am. You're not mad at me. You're not mad at me,
because when you're mad at me, your neck gets all longer
until you're like that. It's like a giraffe or whatever.
And then when you're mad at Artie,
your neck gets all over here to the right.
Yes. Just like that.
Look, I know the MacPherson-DC thing is still bugging you, okay,
but everybody has a past.
But he lied, Pete.
Artie's past is treasonous, hazardous
and, hey, there's a crazy man who wants us dead
and he wants the Warehouse all for himself.
It would have been nice knowing that going in, Pete.
Artie should have told us about MacPherson.
Yes, yes, I get it. Daddy issues.
Can't deal with the old man. You're an...
Oh, my God, the mirror. I got it! Watch out!
Oh, wait! Look, big, shiny thing.
Pete!
Sick!
Let's... That sounds like...
The Studio 54 disco ball.
God, I hate disco.
Okay.
Whoa! Okay. Oh, God.
Myka, are you okay?
Hey! What's going on?
Myka, are you okay?
What's going on? Huh?
Ask him.
You can't... You can't...
This is just...
I know you're feeling lost.
What? Artie's past, MacPherson.
It can be a bit disorienting. I know.
I feel pretty clear, actually.
If things are the way they are,
don't fight it, just go with it.
Whenever I don't, I always end up right back in the same place,
not a good one.
Thank you for the tea. You're welcome.
Hi. Hey.
I'm gonna do it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Okay. Um...
They're excellent, yeah. I don't know what... Ooh! Mmm!
So, today's... Where is he? Pete? In the room, please.
You do something different with your hair? Mmm-mmm.
Would you help me with this bag?
I don't care about your high score, dude.
Dude, take your meds. I want a turn, bro.
I know. I know. I know.
You saved at least? I saved.
Thank you. Focus. Focus.
What are you doing here? Focusing.
No, no, no, no, no. You don't... We're gonna... We... You...
All right, never mind. Fine.
Just try... Try to pay attention.
Gary and Jillian Whitman, take one each,
aka, more aliases than I even care to mention.
They are small-time thieves who have inexplicably hit the big time.
I smell artifacts.
I smell a loser.
- No. Come on. - Claudia.
Claudia.
Let's let Artie get through this
so we can just not be here any longer than necessary, all right?
Thank you very much, Myka. Much appreciated.
You're welcome.
So, what is this, um... What is this artifact?
I don't know. It's unconfirmed, but if there is one,
it's giving these two an unbelievable amount of luck,
the kind that defies all the laws of probability.
They've had winning streaks in Miami,
Detroit and Atlantic City and they've not...
Not one single gaming commission alarm bell has been tripped.
Well, how?
How? Well, they go into a gaming room
and it has high rollers... Anybody?
Okay, fine. And, they're really good.
And they win just enough money to stay under the radar. Right?
And then they... Fine.
Then they move on, they don't get caught.
Okay, so they're taking a little back from the house.
OMG what's the BFD What?
Yeah, iniquitous hands with the means to exploit fate.
"Iniquitous" means "bad."
Thanks, Roget.
So, where are they now?
Three hours ago, they checked into room 1510
at the Maximus Hotel in Las Vegas.
So, I've also prepared rundowns, this is yours,
of possible artifacts that are still in the wild that might be responsible.
And there's also plane tickets and reservations for the Maximus
and all that stuff. Vegas, baby.
Kicking it!
Where's the money? Hmm?
Well, we need to roll high.
Yeah, there's $10,000 in Pete's envelope.
Oh, snap.
Oh, yeah.
Doubt it. Do you...
Are you sure this is enough? Get out. Get out. Pack.
Boys.
Hey, hey, do me a favor.
Yes, yes, yes, my liege, I shall bring you receipts.
Yeah, that, too. But also one more thing.
Is she mad at me?
No. Okay.
Yes. Maybe. A little.
But, look, a trip to Vegas will un-bunch the pants,
and it should be fun.
No, no, no, no. Please, don't have fun.
Yeah, or crap out.
That's so funny. Later.
So, what am I doing?
What do you mean, "What are you doing?"
Well, Leena told me Mrs. F is keeping you off the MacPherson trail.
So, I mean, it doesn't mean I can't look for him, probably...
I'm only going to say this once, are you listening?
Yeah. Back off!
The man will kill you, kill you.
Understood?
Yeah. Yes, sir.
Why, hello. How are you? Hi.
All right.
Va-va-voom!
Your tie's crooked.
Well, you just knocked everything crooked.
How are my teeth? Your teeth are fine.
Perfume. That's a first. Mmm-hmm.
So, I've been going over the possibles.
I've been sniffing 10 grand.
Nothing in Artie's hit list suggests a multi-part object,
which means we're looking for one thing,
and it should be in their possession.
Why?
Carson's rule of linear transfer.
It means they have to have it on them.
Forced outcomes require tangency.
Well, someone's been paying attention.
Mmm-hmm. Some of us longer than others.
Okay, well, let's assume that it is a single artifact shared by two suspects.
Why don't we each take one and we'll compare notes?
Okay. I'll take Lady Luck. You take her date.
And I got these. I, uh...
What is it?
I cleaned them with alcohol, all right? So...
And a little bit of spit.
Kidding.
Testing. Sorry. Ow!
Okay. Oh, you have the Tesla, right? Yes.
I'll trade you for the Farnsworth.
But you... You have the gun.
I know, but it's the boring one.
Well, you lost the toss. I know.
Let's just go find this artifact
and see if we can't change somebody's luck.
Okay, that thing is so freaky. What, this? Yeah.
No, the thing behind you. Yeah, that.
Well, trapped desires
refracted by light, sounds, sex,
mind-altering drugs, into a disco ball. Disco ball.
A disco ball. I know. I know.
Dude, how? Well, unknown, unknown,
but mirrors are usually just gonna reflect light,
but this thing projects yearnings and cravings.
You know what this thing does?
It imparts the grim, stampeding inhumanity
against anything decent.
Don't worry. Not in here.
In here, it's just a round, shiny object, but out there...
It's the '80s?
The '70s.
By the way, I'm sorry I came down on you a little hard at Leena's.
You know, whatever. It's just because I owe you, you know,
for helping me and saving Joshua.
I mean, the guy hurt you, you know.
It pisses me off. Yeah, yeah.
If finding MacPherson helps you... Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay.
Just... Just help me lift this thing. We'll do it on three.
All right. Well, can Mrs. Frederic find him? I don't know.
On three. One, two, three.
Well, the guy used to work here though, right?
Yeah. And what, the place drove him nuts?
Something lured him to the dark side? Yeah. No.
He is the dark side, and things are lured to him, people especially,
which is why you're never going to mention his name ever again.
Just to you? To anyone. Promise me.
Yes.
Is that Myka?
Whatever it is, it's not good.
Red five.
You're pushing our luck.
Yeah, and it's pushing right back.
Take a break.
I'm okay.
We've got enough, okay? Nobody's legs are getting broken.
Everybody's paid off.
Well, college for five kids won't be cheap.
We're having three.
And it won't matter if you're not around for the honeymoon.
Oh, I'll be around.
It's going to be the best years of our lives.
Just five more spins. Three.
Okay, we found them.
You see anything?
Besides two scoundrels in love?
No, but they might have something off-site.
All right, I'm going to go toss their room.
Call me if you see them chewing on a rabbit's foot or adjusting a magic girdle.
Red 23.
- Careful! - Stop yelling!
Start listening. I'm so running over your toes.
All right, just get it straight. Not like that!
Okay!
Could you close the door behind you? Got it.
You know what? Pull all the Dodgson files, would you?
And pull anything that's got a listed cross-reference
like Alice Liddell, Lewis Carroll.
What are you still standing here for?
I'm not your girl Friday.
What kept you?
Three pumpkin pies and a broken oven thermostat that you keep promising to fix.
Um... Yeah. What's this?
Well, this is why I called you.
Artie, what happened?
Yeah, optical divagation, I think. Wait, what?
Kind of like a retinal flare after a photo flash.
My best guess is the blast from the disco ball,
it kind of fritzed this mirror's primary reflective capacity.
And then, it probably clipped part of Myka's psyche,
infused it in there. I don't know.
You know, it's kind of like shadows on a wall after Hiroshima.
It's a pretty lively shadow.
Yes, but is it?
Is it what? Alive.
Uh-huh.
You want to? Sure.
Uh, what's that about?
I'm going to pull her back if she falls in. Get your mind out...
Okay. Thanks.
So? Nothing.
So, what is it, just a shadow play?
Well, the glass is like a barrier.
If that's alive, I can't tell.
Let's just ask her. It.
It. It might have something to tell us.
I mean, why can't we just talk to her?
Because we do not converse with reflected entities, okay?
Because... Because two words, Bloody Mary.
That's just an urban legend, though, right? Of course, it isn't.
Shadows have power, and you let this thing speak
and there is no telling what could happen.
Pete was playing ping-pong with one of those things.
Weren't you supposed to go pull files or something?
Thank you.
Okay, oh, and pull anything from Studio 54. Got it.
54. Heard you.
Can I make a suggestion? Sure.
I haven't lost a penny, Mom. Is Myka with you?
No, she's downstairs on the Whitmans.
I'm getting ready to search their room. What's up?
Nothing. How's your radar?
You mean am I having a vibe or something?
Yeah. Give it a second.
Anything out of the ordinary? Anything at all?
With Myka?
With anything.
You know, now that you mention it, there is something.
What?
The buffet is overpriced.
Other than that.
No. No vibe, no trouble. It's all good.
All right. Are you sure?
Artie, is there something I should know?
No, no, no, no, no. Everything's good, it's just a status check.
Don't dawdle, stay in touch, goodbye.
"Kirk, out."
He's fine, so is Myka. Okay? Okay.
Put it down on black 15.
Myka. Yes?
I got nothing.
Yeah, nothing's going on down here, either.
They're still winning and I'll be damned if I know how.
...cons of the situation, I just don't... Yeah, I know. I have.
I just think that that's...
What if, maybe, we put those two together?
I don't think that's going to work.
What about what we tried in...
What is that?
Oh, that's just something I whipped up.
Yeah. What do you mean? Just now?
Yeah, that's right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What... What are you doing?
I'm opening a line of communication.
The CIA uses laser mikes to read vibrations off windows
to hear what's going on on the other side of the window, right?
Yeah. I want to hear what she has to say.
Bloody Mary, shadows have power, I get it.
But what if that's not just a shadow, Artie?
Artie, that look on her face is somebody who's trapped.
Believe me, I know that look, and so do you.
If things get hinky, you can pull the plug.
What've you got to lose, okay? I do need to do this.
Don't... I mean, just wait.
I just... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Let me think.
Myka. Myka, where are you?
Oh.
Hey.
So, Mr. Whitman doesn't look good.
No sign of any artifact?
Not even a glimmer.
What's up with his hand? I don't know.
Look, if you want to get some rest, I'll stay with them.
Not if they split up.
If they do, I'll call you.
No, no, let's stay together.
If they've got something, it's on them.
I want to know what it is.
I've been burned by this before. They look real and they'll say anything.
Say something.
Artie, when I get out of here, I'm hugging her and I'm kicking your ass.
Yeah, well, that won't be happening.
Why? Artie, it's me.
No, no, you're just a reflection.
The real Myka's in Las Vegas on a mission with Pete.
What? No, no, I'm not. Artie.
You see, that's exactly what I mean.
You just don't do it. Turn that thing off.
Artie, if I'm in Vegas with Pete then how can I be here?
No, just don't turn it off!
Whatever that thing is, it's never getting out of here.
Lewis Carroll's Alice,
you're so sweet, so innocent, so not true.
This woman was as mad as a hatter
and Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was not writing books.
He was chronicling this young woman's descent into a sociopathic madness.
All of his books, he didn't write these books.
These are Warehouse fabrications, brilliant fabrications,
to hide the truth about that mirror.
Here's a report from Warehouse field agents.
Yeah? The mirror crossed paths with Alice Liddell.
I bet it crossed paths. When?
Well, right before the murders. That's terrifying.
Yeah, and there's no mention of where the mirror came from.
Okay, well, where do any of these things come from?
Okay, but, Artie, these agents, they trapped her inside of the mirror.
Yeah. Somehow her energy, her essence...
Even they weren't sure how it happened.
Wouldn't it have been nice, Leena,
if these Warehouse field agents had bothered to figure it out
before she killed one of them?
Lot of loose ends here, okay?
So, I'm not... Hey, that is why, Claudia,
taking inventory is so important!
So, what are we saying? What are we saying?
Are we saying that just Myka's image
got melded with the crazy essence of Alice?
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Looks like Myka isn't Myka. And if we give voice to that thing,
it will trick us somehow to try to get out,
and that is not going to happen.
We've done enough.
No, we promised each other we'd stop at $5 million.
I'm a lying, convicted thief, Gary. I'm breaking the promise.
No. We're so close.
We're just a few thousand away.
It won't make any difference.
You need to see a doctor.
We don't have any insurance.
Please.
We'll be paying out of pocket.
And I won't go unless we offset
what that'll cost with an hour's worth of betting.
Listen to yourself.
You listen. My hand can rot off.
I'm not going to any doctor.
We should take it now.
Take what?
Whatever it is they've got, you know, force them to hand it over.
Well, we're not even sure...
One more round of betting and then I'm cashing us out.
You're the boss.
I was just trying to keep her distracted. We're clear.
I want him.
Sorry? You follow the girl.
I'll stay here and I'll call you if he comes out.
Are you sure? Yeah. I can handle him if there's trouble.
All right. Okay.
I'II...
I'll call you if I catch anything. Do that.
Artie, I know you're not as sure about this as you're pretending.
I'm not pretending.
You know when you hold a mirror up to a second mirror
and you get that sort of reflected infinity thing?
Mmm-hmm. Well, what happens if that mirror
is reflected in something like the Studio 54 disco ball?
Is it possible to get some kind of artifact interaction,
something completely unexpected?
I don't know.
What if the disco ball goes off
and someone is standing in front of Alice's mirror?
Well, I think we know what happened.
Do we really?
Could reflections switch places?
Could people?
She pulls to the right.
Pardon?
It's something I noticed a couple minutes ago.
When Myka's mad at me, she pulls to the right.
She's mad at you now, has been for about a week.
So, is she? Pulling?
To the right?
Red 23!
Excuse me, miss. Hi, you dropped this.
Keep it. Maybe you'll get lucky.
That's what I'm hoping.
Red 21!
Holy bananas!
Okay.
Oh.
Uh...
Okay.
You are really mad at me.
I feel sorry for you, actually. And why is that?
Because of all the things right in front of your face
that you simply refuse to see.
Like what?
Like me.
Oh, well...
Yeah, well, I need to ask you a question
that only the real Myka would know the answer to.
You know what? You're wasting time, Artie, 'cause Pete's in danger.
Yeah, well, so are you, right?
In danger, if you're really who you say you are.
Okay. Okay, fine.
Here's what you and I both know, but we never talk about it.
All right? Mmm-hmm.
That I don't trust you.
That I need you to tell me the truth
and not treat me like some chess piece
that you move around on a board that only you can see.
That I am valuable. That I matter.
And that I deserve to know everything I can about this world
that you send me into every day
so at least I have a fighting chance.
You know, in spite of everything...
In spite of everything, I like you.
I think you're great.
I want you to think the same of me.
I screwed up.
Honey, my key's not working.
Hi.
Where's him?
Him's not here. What room you looking for?
My room.
Who are you? You're cute.
And you're faking it. Never con a con artist.
You had your chance to walk away.
You won't get another.
Hey. Hey. Uh... Pete with you?
No. Listen, I'm a bit busy. Can I call you back?
Yeah. No, sure. Everything okay?
It will be as soon as I can get back to work.
Okay. Oh, I've got some bad news.
Leena tells me that your ferret escaped
and she's been trying to call for it.
She doesn't know its name,
I don't even know if you finally did name that thing. Did you?
No. No, actually I never did.
Just put some food out and it'll come back. I got to go.
Now, where were we?
Myka did name the ferret. She's just not telling Pete the name.
Why not? Because she named it Pete.
Yeah, it's cute, but it's so annoying.
No, that's good. I like that. You think that's funny? Huh?
Because if she thinks we know, she'll kill him.
Jillian, hi. The name's Pete.
Look, you're in trouble and I'm here to help.
That chip that you have, the one that's changed your luck...
Hey!
Let go or I'll scream.
Jillian, it's hurting you, okay?
That is a contact wound. Wishing objects do that.
This one seems to be a bit addictive
and we both know that that's bad, right?
So, you keep the money, but you give me the chip.
No. Gary's sick, too, isn't he?
You got to stop while you're ahead, Jillian.
Trust me. Don't make me use this.
The Jubilee Grand, right? The fire?
What are you going to do with it?
I am going to put this on a shelf and ignore it forever.
Damn it!
Wow. I know. Now watch.
Watch what?
That chip allows you to see the future.
Damn it!
Are you all right? Yes, thank you.
Yeah, I can see the attraction.
You have to tell him what's going on, Artie.
Well, he may have figured it out already.
Seriously? I mean, it's Pete we're talking about here.
I can't... I can't get a hold of him.
I mean, his cell keeps going to voice mail.
Alice has obviously got the Farnsworth, so...
Well, dude, he's in a big hotel.
There was this man at the bar one night
bragging about how he miraculously survived the inferno.
He said that this chip saved his life.
And you stole it. That's what we do.
Pete Lattimer, white courtesy phone.
Phone call for Pete Lattimer. Jillian, take the money and run,
don't walk, find a beach, never look back.
I am going to go get your husband.
Hold on. You're not arresting us? You're letting us go?
What happens in Vegas, okay? Just get out of here.
It looks like you were telling the truth.
Don't hurt Jillian.
Oh, Gary, do you know what? Hurting is half the fun.
You want to know what's more fun? The other half.
Who are you?
You've had your wishes, Gary.
Now it's my turn.
And now I'll know when they're coming for me.
And if I can see them, I can kill them.
I bet you didn't see that coming.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm... I'm fine.
I had to use the Tesla.
He's dead.
You killed him.
Pete, what's going on?
Change of plans.
Pete... What, do you think I'm an idiot?
Don't answer that.
Just stop, okay? Just put down the gun
and let's think this through.
Okay. Guess what? I'm still taking the artifact.
I can't let you do that, Pete.
Die trying to stop me, Alice.
Oh, clever boy. What tipped you?
The real Myka would never kiss me.
Never.
Not if her life depended on it.
Which is... A shame.
You're a good kisser.
So, Artie hasn't figured this out yet?
No, not yet, but when he does,
he'll set the real Myka free and you will, poof, disappear.
It doesn't work that way, Pete.
Meaning what?
Meaning nothing comes out of the mirror
unless something goes back in.
Really?
And I am done with that.
Oh. Well, I beg to freaking differ.
Freak.
I suppose I should have destroyed that mirror when I had the chance.
Turn around.
This is on you.
You're the one who set me free.
Yeah?
Well, I'm fixing that right now. Turn around.
Oh, my...
I'm never going back into that mirror.
Do you hear me?
Never.
And this, this is my ace.
That's it. Cash me out.
"Curiouser and curiouser."
Artie, now!
Hey, Pete, help me.
Artie, where is Myka?
Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
All right. Okay.
Okay. Here, let's get this. So, what now?
Now... Now we move Alice to the dark vault.
What's the dark vault?
It's better than the "Oy, Gevalt."
Yeah. No, the dark vault... You've never seen the dark vault? Yeah.
I'm going to hazard a guess here,
you're never going to want to see the dark vault
after we move that to the... Okay, you get the...
No, you know what? Let's do this tomorrow, okay?
But, you know, we better secure it.
You know, let's move that trunk.
When I say "let's," I mean you.
Little known, but apropos fact, by the way,
Steven Rubell, who was one of the co-founders of Studio 54,
he considered calling his club Wonderland.
Wow.
Oh, my God!
- Other side. - Hey, lady!
Okay.
Yeah. Hey, let's go. Hey, hey, my 10 grand.
Right, about that. Well, Artie, you know,
uh, last-minute Apache helicopter rides
to the middle of nowhere, South Dakota, don't come cheap.
Okay, I know a guy with a Chinook.
Would've cost you about half if you would have called me.
Well, I had to beat Alice here, didn't I?
Hey, hey!
What's going on Did it work? Look who's here.
Oh, my God! She's back.
Making breakfast, come on. Come on.
- So, Myka, you said I was - What?
Previously on Warehouse 13...
Is that... Is part of that a Bell + Howell Spectroscope?
Surprise. I repurposed it.
What? Without asking me?
I'm only going to say this once, are you listening?
Yeah. Back off!
Just do as you're told, please.
Vibe, it happens all the time.
So why do you trust them?
Well, one time I didn't and I should have.
My dad was a fireman.
He died that night in a house fire saving a couple kids.
Apparently Martino and your partner were having an affair and he was married.
Her history doesn't bother you?
I read the press release of what went down in Denver.
You're a hero.
Lives were saved. Lives were lost.
Want to do a shot?
Sorry, I don't drink.
Sure you do.
Do I know you?
I haven't had a drop in five years.
Probably 'cause you drank enough
for a lifetime the night you killed me.
It was an accident.
I was 17. It was prom night.
I'm so sorry.
Lee?
Lee, what are you doing? Lee.
No. Lee, talk to me.
Doc, I gotta... I have to get away from her.
Lee!
Damn it!
We have a man down. C-Block, second tier.
Stay back!
We'll need a doctor down here right away!
Get out of the way. Yeah, we got a...
Yeah, we got a situation down here. We got to secure this...
You're going to jail, missy!
Well, better safe than sorry, right?
What are you talking about?
Unexplained suicides up in Riverton.
We are off to see the warden.
You use soap on a rope?
Hey, I don't judge your personal hygiene products,
although you might want to invest into some moisturizers.
You're a little dry around the nose.
You want to swap beauty tips?
Then we can talk about the hair
that's sprouting from your shoulders,
your nose and your ears.
Ow!
Or, you know, you could just tell me about the prison suicides.
Well, let's go with the suicides.
Inventory. What a bone.
Tycho Brahe's snot pocket.
Check.
This place is falling apart.
Venus de Milo's arms. Rad.
You know what?
I cannot work under these conditions.
What you doing?
Re-building a carburetor.
That's funny. No, I mean, what's the tune?
Something I've been working on for my father.
Oh. How old is your father?
No, I mean, that's really good for you.
Can I have the keys to the cherry picker?
Why? And no, you can't.
I just want to fix this light bulb.
It's flickering. It's really annoying.
Just let it go, Claudia.
You know, it's just going to burn out
and you'll have me fix it later.
Okay, here's the thing. You know, these bulbs, they never burn out.
They're Shelby bulbs. They were invented
by Adolphe Chaillet 108 years ago.
So there's no need... What am I doing even talking to you?
I am busy. I will tighten the bulb later.
Artie.
Fine.
I know you have a corner on the whole vibe thing,
but this place is creepy.
Well, maybe it just needs a woman's touch.
Agents Bering and Lattimer?
Sorry to keep you waiting.
There's a tropical storm headed this way
and the preparations are endless.
I'm Corinne Huggins, the warden.
I'm not sure what the Secret Service's interest is in all this,
but I expect to be kept in the loop.
Of course. Good. This way.
Riverton hadn't had a suicide in two years.
Now, including Donaldson, we've had four in the past month.
His parole had just come through, right?
He had reconciled with his wife,
he was looking forward to being with his family.
Not a very high risk for suicide.
None of them were. All four were model prisoners.
Had anything new been brought in before the first suicide?
Furniture? Art work?
Agent Lattimer, this is a maximum security facility,
not a college dormitory.
There's been nothing new. No woman's touch.
Right. Of course.
What about new inmates?
There's been a freeze on intake.
We've been operating over capacity since before I took over.
And when was that?
Just over a month ago, just before the first suicide.
I bet she's got some demonic tchotchke on her desk
that she uses as a paperweight.
Okay, I take back the "woman's touch" comment.
My predecessor had been here quite a few years.
There hasn't been much time to look at paint chips.
You killed me, Bunny.
As it is, we've had to store his things in the anteroom closet
until his estate is out of probate.
Myka?
Okay, so this prisoner, Donaldson, didn't leave a suicide note.
Mind if I look through his stuff?
You killed me, Bunny.
These are his personal effects.
Cool, love that.
- Ouroboros. - Huh?
It's the snake. It's a symbol of self-reflection and cyclicity.
And the best Rush album since Roll the Bones.
Snakes and Arrows rocks.
Written by one of our inmates. His path to salvation.
Creepy. Who's John Hill?
Though we're surrounded by concrete and razor wire,
I can show you more freedom than the men who hold the keys.
What's he in for?
Killed his wife.
A lot.
Darkness has descended on this house.
Death has returned to Riverton.
And those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Dr. Cooper's ready for y'all.
Regret has no place in your life.
Your only salvation is here.
Artie, if you won't let me use the cherry picker, then how am I...
Hmm.
No way.
What every fashionable girl is wearing this fall.
Awesome. Suck it, Magneto.
Sweet. I can totally see my house from here.
Okay. This is mildly disconcerting.
Great. Now we know they last 108 years.
And do you think freaky cult leaders are born with crazy eyes,
or is it some sort of corrective surgery?
Pete, what is it?
You don't see that?
See what?
That guy standing there.
It's my dad.
So, Pete saw his father, but you didn't, right?
Yeah, but I should probably mention that I saw Sam earlier.
What? Why didn't you say anything?
Well, you know, Sam's dead and your father's dead.
I mean, you can understand my reticence, right?
You're both hallucinating?
And when were you gonna mention that to me?
Well, we just did.
What was that?
Tropical Storm Inez.
Uh, you didn't say that there was a storm.
Why is that important?
How many times do I have to tell you about electrical energy?
It can crank up the intensity of an artifact, I don't know, tenfold.
And if an artifact is causing these hallucinations,
then a powerful electrical charge
can make these visions seem absolutely real.
Well, they seem pretty real now.
All right, then, listen. You're gonna have to stay in constant contact.
You got that? Constant.
I don't care if you have nothing to report,
every hour you're going to call me, all right?
And meanwhile, you're going to find out everything about these inmates
who killed themselves.
Start with the last one, Lee Donaldson.
According to your statement, Lee said something before he jumped.
"I have to get away from her. " That's what he said.
I can only think he meant Claire.
That's the girl he killed in the hit and run, right?
He quit drinking, but never forgave himself for taking a life.
Well, guilt's a powerful thing. He was your trustee, right?
More than that. We were friends.
I'm trained in recognizing the warning signs.
I don't know why I didn't see them.
Did Lee have any enemies?
John Hill, Riverton's self-proclaimed messiah,
leading his personal religious cult.
Lee was an early convert,
but after Hill started capitalizing on the suicides,
Lee saw what he really was,
an opportunist, preying on fear.
Lee got out, and Hill didn't like losing one of his lambs.
Hill may have strange religious beliefs, but he's harmless.
I don't particularly like what he has to say,
but you can't deny the calming effect
it's had on some of the inmates.
How are we today, Mr. Hill?
Another day above ground, Warden. Another day above ground.
Indeed.
These are agents Bering and Lattimer.
They'd like to ask you some questions. All right.
I'll be in my office.
Where'd you get that necklace?
Well, you could say it's always been with me.
Or you could say where you got it.
The object itself is of no importance.
Its value lies in what it represents.
And what is that?
Some demand that we consume ourselves
with remorse for our supposed sin.
Ouroboros reminds us to transcend the cycle,
and walk the path to enlightenment.
No remorse, huh? What about the path to parole?
I was and am his instrument on Earth,
and with my hands, it is his will and not mine that is done.
To feel remorse
is to shame God.
What about those who are remorseful? Like Donaldson.
Lee's death revealed his greater purpose.
A man cannot be saved without sacrifice.
Oh, I see. Well, that's a neat trick, huh?
Now you get to tell your boys
you can protect them from sacrifice,
like Donaldson.
My followers are free because they know the way to freedom.
You killed me, Bunny.
The cruelest prison is the one that we build for ourselves
out of fear and regret.
I'm done.
Sam?
This isn't real. This can't be real.
Hey.
Sam again?
Yeah.
I can't move.
Okay, no. No need to panic, just take off the coat.
Can't take off the coat. Okay, new plan.
I'm so getting grounded.
Incoming!
Better you than me. Ow!
Artie!
This is the last one.
What is it you're looking for?
I'm not sure. Anomalies, patterns.
Riots.
Well, that's a little specific, but sure.
Sure. No. No, look.
For decades, Riverton was known as "the Snake Pit."
Dozens of inmates went insane here.
Then in 1979, during Hurricane David,
there were uncontrollable riots.
I mean, the place almost burned down.
Six months later, it was closed.
Reopened a year later under Warden Matthews.
He was here until he died last month.
So what did he do differently?
Warden? You okay?
I beg your pardon. The week is catching up with me.
I was just asking what Matthews did differently
to whip this place into shape.
Well, he was very religious.
He instituted daily prayers.
He swore it turned the place around.
That's him. Hmm.
Hey, hey, hey. This looks familiar.
Check out what he got rid of when he moved in.
And no more riots.
He wasn't a very tolerant man.
Anything he thought was pagan he had taken out.
Well, let's go see the good reverend.
Goodbye, snakes and arrows.
And that should take care of that.
Warden, I had your permission to wear that.
I'm not sure I understand.
What exactly is the danger?
I'm sorry. We can't disclose that information.
Well, I was quite clear,
you get free reign of my institution, I get some answers.
Please don't misconstrue our silence as disrespect.
It's just beyond our authority to tell you.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure there won't be any more suicides.
Cause of death, brain hemorrhage due to blunt force trauma.
Final report to come.
You could have helped me, Doctor.
Lee, I'm sorry. I tried, I did.
I thought you were my friend. You ignored the warning signs.
You let me die, Doctor.
Stop, Lee! Lee, I'm your friend!
You killed me, Doctor.
Listen to me!
You told me the suicides would stop. Now we have another one.
Clearly, you're not able to help,
and you're not being truthful with me about what's going on.
I promise you, Warden, we have told you everything that we know.
Oh, really? And what exactly are you looking for?
Well, it could be anything.
Look, sometimes freaky stuff causes other freaky stuff to happen.
After the storm passes, I expect you two to be gone.
I'm going to request a federal team of investigators.
Okay, so he was here alone and he was depressed about Donaldson.
Medical examiners record their autopsy findings.
Maybe he has a recorder around here somewhere.
Right.
So look for one.
Well...
Fine, I'll do it. Well,
I'm over here.
I'll do it. I'll do it. Okay.
God. Sorry, I just want to lift your...
Hey, Myka.
Okay, play it.
Lee, I'm sorry. I tried, I did.
Lee, I'm sorry. You're my friend!
Okay, okay, so now he's talking to the dead guy,
but he should know better. He's a doctor.
What's that static sound? Did you hear that?
Yeah.
Play it again. Okay.
Lee, I'm sorry. I tried, I did.
Lee, I'm sorry. You're my friend!
Did you hear that? Yeah,
it sounded like, I don't know, bad cell phone service.
That's 10,000 cycles per second.
It could be the electrical interference
that any natural material makes when it vibrates.
Okay, so where does it come from?
Well, any number of minerals or heavy metals,
or it could be an artifact that contains both.
But just give me a second, just one... Ah!
Uh... Yeah, okay, does that sound familiar?
That's it.
So, Artie, we're looking for some kind of
a mineral artifact that causes hallucinations.
Is that banging? Do you hear a...
Yeah, no... You do that, you do that. But I...
Artie Hello? What...
No, I'm okay. I'm okay. I just...
You know what? Artie, we got it. Thanks. We'll call you later.
Yeah, all right.
S-O... SOS?
Claudia! Claudia! Claudia! Claudia!
Artie!
Hi, Artie. Hi.
Huh. Funny story.
So I kind of tried to fix this light bulb,
even though you expressly told me not to.
And, man, have I learned my lesson.
You were so right about this place.
You just never know what to expect.
Okay, you're pissed.
Can we move past that part for now,
and get to the part where you get me down from here?
That wouldn't be Volta's lab coat that you're wearing?
All part of the hilarious story I should really tell you
when I'm back on planet Earth.
The reason, Claudia, that Volta's lab coat is in the Warehouse
is because Volta couldn't control its magnetic field,
as you may have noticed.
Each metallic object that it connects to
makes the coat stronger and stronger.
That explains so much. Thank you.
My glasses.
Those better not be scratched!
You know, when I was in Girl Scouts,
we would make these little mini-metal detectors
so we could hunt for gold.
Most speakers are coated with a polymer film
that picks up VHF frequencies,
but we never found any gold, but we did find a lot of worthless minerals.
Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
I want you to know that you can tell me things.
I got the report about Denver.
What did it say?
I don't know, I didn't read it.
Intellectually, I know I did everything by the book.
Of course you did. You're you.
What if I missed something, Pete? What if it's my fault?
Myka, the only person responsible for Sam's death
is the piece of garbage that pulled the trigger that day.
You protected the President. That's the gig.
You're a hero and so is Sam.
Okay?
Yeah. Okay?
Mmm-hmm.
That's a cool-ass science project.
Yeah, it's...
You know, it's...
It's not working.
Sounds like it's working.
No, it's not. It's just crackling at everything.
Well, maybe there's minerals everywhere.
Well, there can't... How can there be... Minerals.
The miners... Mine!
They are everywhere, including in the ground. Come on.
Thank you. I'm sorry about the...
Look. Quartz mines.
Quartz.
Do you see?
This building was built on an old quartz mine.
And back then, indigenous materials would have been used
when building a new structure.
Quartz as in the mineral?
As in hallucination-inducer.
As in this whole freaking structure is one giant tuning fork
and mother nature's just banging away.
Okay, now I've got these magnets.
They're attached to this thing.
When I let go, they're coming right at you.
They'll stick to you and the stuff near you. Okay, here they come!
Ow!
Okay, they're on.
Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?
Saying what, "Only put on in case of stupid"?
Ugh. Just bottom-line this for me, Artie.
Worst-case scenario?
Oh, why not?
The entire warehouse buckles in on itself, crushing us both to death.
Okay, yeah, I changed my mind. Sugar-coat it.
Okay, it must be the storm,
because I can't get any reception.
Okay, so the whole building
is causing hallucinations, right? Right.
So, maybe we should start thinking about
what stopped them for 30 years.
Okay, so the prison opens. Right.
There's a hurricane, suddenly there's a ton of violence,
the prison closes, it reopens with a new warden
and suddenly the violence stops.
Right. He dies. Uh-huh.
His stuff goes into storage. Uh-huh.
The suicides start. Mmm-hmm.
I don't know.
Maybe the old Bible-banger had something that was curing the crazy.
Right.
Maybe this is what Mrs. Frederic meant by endless freaking wonder.
Let's go. Yeah, let's get... Yeah, let's get out of here 'cause it's...
Warden? Warden Huggins! Go!
Warden, what's wrong?
It's locked.
Have you got the keys?
Stop. Stop. I'm sorry!
Okay, he's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Warden Huggins, this is Agent Bering. Are you all right?
Get back, Dr. Cooper! No, that's not true!
Look out. Let me bust the door down.
But it's... It's... Ready? One, two, three.
It's a warden's door.
It's probably sturdier than most.
Well, I wish you would have said that about five seconds ago.
No. Get away from me!
That's not a good sign.
We have to go through the ex-warden's stuff in storage.
You can't keep us out, Corinne.
You'll never control this prison.
How many more have to die by your hand?
I mean, how much "World's Greatest Warden" crap can you have?
We don't even know what we're looking for.
Why would this time be any different?
Okay, look, give me the Farnsworth. I'm going to try Artie again.
Don't let the vision of demons fool you, brothers.
It appears that Riverton is now the land of the blind,
and we are its one-eyed kings.
Just a minute. Yeah?
Artie. Artie, thank God. Okay, what shuts down quartz?
Of course it's quartz. It's quartz, right.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I should have known. Quartz.
Artie... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, listen. Um...
Pierre Curie, his brother Jacques,
they proved the existence of a converse effect of piezoelectricity.
You know what that is, don't you?
Yeah. Yeah.
So, what you've got to do is you...
Artie!
Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
Okay, the frequency of a piece of quartz can be completely canceled out
by its proximity to a second piece of quartz.
Now the second piece is probably what the artifact...
I'm having a little... The image is breaking up.
It's a large piece, okay?
Is the storm... worse?
A lot.
When you find the artifact, you got to put it exactly...
Exactly... before...
...proximity... the original frequency...
...essential...
Artie! Artie!
Okay, big piece of quartz in the closet.
Hey, hello. Can we get back to me, Artie? There's a bicycle on me.
We're going to have to reduce the magnetic field,
but we're going to do it very gradually.
And we have to do that just because
we wouldn't want to destroy your central nervous system.
No. No, we wouldn't. We would not.
Hey, what is that? That sounds bad. What is that?
Artie! Artie!
Box of crap. Box of crap.
Warden, whatever you're seeing, it's not real.
You're perfectly safe.
It's the cross.
Uh...
Claudia, new plan.
But, listen, you have to do exactly, exactly as I say. Got that?
You're the man!
Stay right there.
What?
Bingo. You found it?
What is it that they say about those who live by the sword?
Stand aside, please.
Is that some sort of prison term for "You're a dead woman"?
I can't take the door off its hinges
if you're standing in front of it.
Do you really think we're just gonna let you in there?
If the prison is in an uproar,
that means the warden is in trouble.
She's always supported my work. I would like to help.
- Good? - Yeah, yeah.
Warden, no. Wait!
Get out of here. Let's move. Get out!
Target has arrived. Repeat, target has arrived.
Sam? Sam?
It's happening again.
You should have warned me, Petey.
Dad?
If you knew I was never coming home, why didn't you say something?
Repeat, target is on the move. Let's move in.
Negative. Negative. The plan is to extract at the stairs.
Sam, wait!
I was a kid. It was just a feeling. I was afraid.
Well, it's time to be a man. Take responsibility for your actions.
Your fears, your regrets.
It's your fault. You were late.
Was I?
You killed me, Bunny, and now you've got to make it right.
Time to pay the price, boy.
The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves
out of fear and regret.
What?
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you,
but you would have gone to work that morning
whether I would have warned you or not, and I have no more regret...
Regret... ...about not stopping you.
And I have no more fear... ...out of fear...
...that I did the wrong thing.
Regret has no place in your life.
It wasn't my fault. It's just... It's who you were.
And who I try and be every day of my life.
The cruelest prison is the one that we build for ourselves.
Stay away from me, Sam!
Myka. Myka, listen to me.
You can fight this.
Okay?
You know what happened in Denver.
All your planning and preparations, they weren't enough.
You know the truth.
Don't be afraid of it.
This is the report.
Remember?
You know what's in it.
Don't be afraid.
Sam said I killed him.
You know that's not the truth.
Myka, listen, you don't need a report
to tell you what you already know in your heart.
You did everything right.
Sam didn't listen to you. That's why he's dead.
He screwed up. Not you.
Do you understand?
Now tell Sam the truth.
I'm sorry, Sam.
Sorry's not going to bring me back, Bunny.
I'm sorry because you made the mistake,
not me.
You were late.
No.
You were early.
The target made you and you got yourself killed.
I love you, Sam.
I always will.
But I have to move on.
I have to move on.
Wow, it's... You okay? It's getting worse. Yeah, I'm fine.
What are we going to do with this? Okay.
Artie said... The picture in the old warden's office...
Right. Right. Yes.
So it was there.
Hurry, Artie!
Oh, good idea!
What is that? It sounds like a truck.
No, there's no truck.
Oh, my God!
All right, it's a truck. Wait, wait.
Come on! Come on!
Hang on!
Hey, what's that for? To get rid of the body?
No, it's a good backup plan if this doesn't work.
What do you mean if it doesn't work?
I don't think I'm going to like this.
Whoa, girl!
Come and get me!
Artie, no, don't do it! No, please, Artie!
Oh, God, I hope you're a good shot.
Please, Artie, please be good at this.
Just don't move!
Okay! I promise I'll be good from now on!
Grab it! Okay, I'm trying.
Got it.
Artemis Maximus!
That was awesome!
Yeah, it kind of was awesome, wasn't it? Yeah.
All right, let's get out of here.
You got to take that off right away. Okay.
Now. Now. Yeah.
Oh, God.
Hey, are you hurt?
No. No, I'm fine. What happened?
Well, it's a long story. I hope you like the cross.
Pete!
Oh, my God. Help me.
What happened?
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Okay, okay, he's losing a lot of blood.
We got to get him out of here. No, no, no. No. No.
It's all right.
He's chosen me for sacrifice.
I'm on a new path.
How many times do I have to write this, Artie?
Okay. All right. Claudia, all right. Okay.
You know what?
No.
Yeah.
Enough of doing it that way. All right.
So, now, Claudia. Okay.
Now focus, don't just write it.
Believe it. No.
Yes. Oh.
How long you been working on that?
Since I lost my father.
Artie, I'm sorry. When did he die?
He's alive.
I just hope that finishing this
will help us find each other again.
Myka!
Yeah?
Hey. Hey.
So listen, I'm taking the girls out
for a little night on the town.
You know, which in this part of South Dakota
means going for ice cream.
Mmm-hmm.
You want to come?
I'm beat.
All right. You want me to bring you something back?
You know I don't eat sugar.
Right. Butter pecan, caramel sauce, chocolate sprinkles.
You all right?
I'm good. You know...
All right, well, remember, if you want to talk...
Maybe tomorrow.
I'll have my people call your people.
You do that.
Bye. Bye.
Previously on Warehouse 13...
That'll take you directly to who has the sword,
and that will lead you to MacPherson.
Who Who?
I wasn't here when everything went down between Artie and MacPherson,
but I know it was bad.
It's called the past rearing its ugly head.
And someone out there
is running around using... That's right, someone,
and that someone is MacPherson.
He wanted more than the sword.
He wanted to mess us up as a team.
Now it's up to you to stop him.
Hello, Arthur.
Done. I win.
It's not a race.
Said the tortoise to the hare.
You know, in the story, the tortoise actually wins.
It's a fairy tale. How is a turtle going to beat a rabbit?
It's not a fairy tale. It's a fable, a life lesson.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Okay, here's a life lesson, Pete fast, Pete win.
You all finished?
Hey. Hey, Artie. Artie. Yeah?
If you were making a bet, who's faster, a turtle or a rabbit?
Yeah. You finished the reports?
Yeah. Who are these going to? Not Mrs. Frederic.
Yeah, she doesn't seem like the paperwork type.
No, these go above all our pay grades. Who?
Myka, one day you'll know all answers to all questions.
Just not today.
Okay. Fine. Enjoy your top secrets.
I just got to go. I just can't leave that courier waiting.
What A courier?
What is this, the Wells Fargo Wagon?
Haven't you ever heard of e-mail?
No, no, no. That's not nearly secure enough,
because we... It doesn't matter.
You guys are having a day to yourselves, right?
Have fun. Claudia's doing chores. And I'll see you later.
Doing chores where?
Uh... In the Warehouse.
Scalpel. Thank you, Nurse.
There's an awful lot of blood. I think I need some suction.
Ganza! Good as new.
And get into the corners this time. Don't make me push you.
Go on.
Ew, warm.
Mmm.
Frosty goodness.
Okay. "Repair auto-vac." Slice-o-pie.
"Tighten and lubricate zip line."
It sounds kind of dirty when you say it like that.
God, ancient junk-oleum.
You got to update this turd some day, Artie.
Hey, be careful. No.
No, no, no, no. Crap.
Crappity, crap, crap, crap!
Oh, my God. This is not good!
This is not going to look good on my report card.
Oh, my God. Okay, don't panic. Oh, my God.
WWAD? What would Artie do?
Um...
Momentum. Got to get momentum. All right.
Come on, momentum, let's go.
No, no, no, no, no. This sucks!
So if it isn't Mrs. Frederic, then who's getting those reports?
I don't know. Mr. Frederic?
Claudia? I brought donuts.
Donut. It's chocolate.
Mmm.
What's "AD"?
Artifact disturbance.
You know, you really need to read the manual.
That can't be good.
Claudia?
Claudia!
Um... Sorry. Yeah, I was just wondering...
I was hoping that you could take a message to the higher-ups for me.
This MacPherson situation, I realize that they prefer a hands-off approach,
but they... You're talking. We don't talk.
Oh. I didn't think there was a rule.
I just thought you weren't particularly social.
I see I was right about that.
God. Hi.
She would like a word.
I'm sure she would.
Let's just follow the zip line. She's bound to turn up.
I just hope she's okay, you know.
Uh, Claudia's like bamboo.
You can bend her all you want, she'll never break.
This is hers. How do you know?
We have to get rid of Artie's BeDazzler.
Hello. Hmm.
Is that a dodgeball?
How did that get in here?
Hell, no. Um...
Did that just do what I think it did?
Yeah. Yeah.
Gosh! Is that thing having babies, or...
Yeah, look. Okay, okay, let's get out of here.
Okay.
Those things hit us every time we look away.
Yeah, I'm going to go with you on that
so I don't end up with a concussion.
Um, ooh... The screen. What?
Right? Let's read the screen. Yes.
"Baylor Dodgeball.
"Used for military dexterity and agility training.
"Multiplies upon contact." That we already know.
"Acquired after the bludgeoning deaths of five cadets in 1972."
Bludgeoning is bad.
Agreed. Agreed.
Okay, there's a neutralizing station around the corner.
There should be. Okay. Ah! Ah! Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Ready? On three. Okay.
Three.
Let's see how these puppies like a neutralizer flea bath.
Why isn't it working?
Okay, this is bad.
What's happening? Why isn't it working?
I don't know. It's busted.
Okay, what do we do now?
Plan B.
What's Plan B? I was hoping that you knew.
No. Okay, wait.
What's that one? "Breathe underwater. " "Hear colors."
Okay. "Grow fingernails fast."
"Summon locusts." That's not...
They're dodgeballs. Yes, yes, that's already established.
That's how you win at dodgeball. You have to catch it.
No, these are too fast.
And what about that whole death-by-bludgeoning thing?
No, no, no, no. Look, you look away, right?
And when they go for you, I'll catch one.
I think we should go with Plan C. What's Plan C?
Well, I run away and you get pummeled.
Look!
Pete?
Who smells like tuna fish now, Ralph Brunsky?
Who?
Huh?
Who?
Oh, I was just having a little playground flashback.
Oh.
Hi, there. Welcome to Ted's. I'm Theadora, but everybody calls me Ted.
Party of one?
No, no, I'm meeting that woman right over there,
and it's rarely a party.
Hello.
Oh, Arthur, have a seat.
Why are we meeting here?
We need to have a chat.
The pie of the day is banana cream.
I highly recommend it. Made it myself.
Yeah, a steak, bloody, black coffee, two pieces of the pie.
Two? Um, just a house salad.
Leena's got me on a diet.
Maybe just one piece of that pie, 'cause she made it herself.
How are things at the Warehouse?
They're good. They're fine.
A little chaotic, but it's a good kind of chaos.
And the missions?
No one's been killed.
You can't ask for more than that.
And we have an excellent retrieval rate.
What about the incidents in Paris or Las Vegas or Colorado?
Mrs. Frederic, you know all about those.
Why are you asking me about them?
I'm forgetful. Refresh my memory.
You were saying about Paris?
Claudia, there's half a donut in the office.
How far do you think she could have gotten before the zip line snapped?
Could be the other end of the Warehouse.
There's an end? I hope so.
Duck and cover.
Okay, that was bigger than usual.
To hell with this.
I'm going to see if I can spot her from up here.
Well, be careful.
Whoa. What is it?
Go down the aisle, cross two over and turn right.
It's Leena's.
But how?
And there's a Claudia-shaped hole in the roof.
Claudia?
Are you here? Wait, you guys! No, no, no, no!
Don't close the door!
Thank God. We were following the zip line, and the...
Yeah, no, I'm good. I mean, we're all trapped in here for eternity,
but otherwise I'm solid. Yeah.
Okay.
Let's just get back to the office so we can fix the...
What What?
What the hell?
This is what I've been saying.
First the goo doesn't work, Mmm-hmm.
Then one of those static balls tries to cook us
and now, a clingy house. The Warehouse is in a bad mood today.
FYI, if anyone has to use the bathroom,
don't flush.
Trust me. Okay. Okay, you know what? Just...
We just have to wait and think about this for a second.
New plan.
Scoring that an 8.5. Next time, you got to stick the landing!
Let's all just stop and think about this a second.
That's a good plan. Good plan. Claudia,
did you try climbing back out of the same hole that you fell in?
Yeah, came right back in through the fireplace.
I don't recommend it.
And you trust Pete and Myka?
With my life. They're consummate professionals.
Mrs. Frederic, I have to ask you, why specifically...
Excuse me, we're having a private... Do you mind?
Oh, no, that's all right.
Okay.
What is he...
Very sorry. Private party.
Wait, what is going on?
I thought they would never leave.
Okay, here we go. You be careful now. This is a hot plate.
I think we can begin.
Mr. Valda?
Hello, Irene. Mr. Valda, nice to see you again.
This is Agent Nielsen. Just a minute.
What is this?
That's a house salad.
Bering and Lattimer are consummate professionals.
Thank you, Theadora. So, as you stated in the past,
Agents Bering and Lattimer's mission was...
Look. Do you mind telling me exactly what is happening here?
Arthur, Mr. Valda's asking the questions. Please don't interrupt him.
Yeah. Well, I don't think I'm going to be answering any questions
until you tell me what this is about.
Sometimes he forgets we answer to a higher authority.
What higher authority?
The...
The Regents. These are the Regents?
The Regents meet here?
They do today.
Do you really expect me to believe...
What exactly were you expecting, Agent Nielsen?
Hooded, cloaked figures standing in half-light
around a perpetually burning flame?
He's seen too many movies.
You know, I just would have thought that... This waitress is a Regent?
John Adams was a farmer, Abraham Lincoln was a small-town lawyer.
Plato, Socrates were teachers, Jesus was a carpenter.
To equate judgment and wisdom with occupation is, at best,
insulting.
Yeah, that's not what I meant.
I know what you meant.
Who would you have control the Warehouse?
Kings? Popes? Politicians?
There'd be nothing left of it.
Yeah. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry. It's just, you know, I didn't think...
Yes, that's one of the reasons we needed to speak with you.
Your reluctance to think.
Irene? Mrs. Frederic.
Thank you, Theadora. So as I was saying,
you stated in the past that Agents Bering and Lattimer's mission
was to "Snag it, bag it and tag it," correct?
Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I said that.
I didn't mean to denigrate the job description.
Yet in their brief tenure as field agents,
they managed to destroy James Braid's chair...
If you just let me explain.
Lewis Carroll's mirror.
That wasn't destroyed.
Your agents released a malevolent entity into the Warehouse,
allowing it access to dangerous artifacts.
It was an accident. It was a total accident.
It is not uncommon for artifacts to be
occasionally destroyed for the greater good.
And Agents Lattimer and Bering, I mean, they've repeatedly shown bravery,
they've shown quick-thinking. They're an excellent team,
and they're probably the best agents
that the Warehouse has ever had. Arthur,
their abilities are not in question here.
Oh.
This is about me?
Not only you.
Your former partner.
MacPherson?
Okay, okay, so this version of the B&B is in the Warehouse because...
It's an artifact.
But can this whole place be an artifact?
Like, is that even possible?
Yeah, pretty much anything is possible.
Okay, so maybe there was an artifact in the original
that they couldn't take out, right? Mmm-hmm.
So they just moved the whole thing.
And rebuilt the new one without it.
Look for anything here that's different from our B&B.
All right. Okay, that was kind of cool. All right.
We had this little, like, group-think thing going on. Gold stars all around.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
I do not recognize that chair.
You were sleeping in it last week.
What about this ugly lamp?
Those light bulbs burnt out a month ago, but this...
This is new. Or old.
It's fused to the wall. This is it. Huh.
It's a painting of this room.
And we can't leave this room.
Seems like quite the coinky-dink, don't you think?
Yeah, how very Salvador Dali.
Do you think this painting's keeping us here?
Maybe. Pete, look at the lamp.
What? Okay, now look at the painting.
Claudia put it back in a different spot.
It changed because of what you did.
Okay, okay. So maybe
if I do something to the picture...
That happens.
Sick!
After you.
Okay.
Your turn. Don't mind if I do.
Don't even bother.
At least that was new.
Man, you know what? This thing is useless.
Did I do that?
Well, neither of us did.
I can see the Warehouse.
Okay, there's a letter opener, if I remember...
Yes. Okay.
Okay.
Let's go.
All right. Safe and sound.
What? That.
Maybe we should have stayed inside.
We need to get back to the office.
No need.
"What are you doing wasting time installing backup terminals in the aisle,
"foolish red-haired girl?"
Because you never know when you might need one, Artie.
Nice. Hey-oh.
Okay, looks like the problem is in the Gooery.
What's a Gooery? I'm guessing it's Claudia-speak
for the Neutralizer Processing Center.
Uh-huh. Right. Of course.
Well, it's Chapter 197 in the manual.
It's 1,000 pages long. I'll wait for the movie.
Okay, the Neutralizer Processing Center
is what pumps the purple goo through the Warehouse,
creating a stability field.
Yeah, it's like all the gack in here are nuclear rods, right?
As long as there's coolant, it's all good.
The Gooery jakes out the coolant.
It keeps the artifacts from getting all artifact-y on their own.
Okay, so the Gooery, cool name by the way, needs to go back online.
Man with a plan.
Okay, so does Chapter 198 say what happens
if we don't get it working again?
The same thing that happens to the nuclear rods without the coolant,
except probably worse.
We've got maybe half an hour left.
What's the fastest way there? Let me see.
We got to go through aisle Haddonfield 79,
then loop around Carlsbad 22...
No, no, no, no. Why don't we just go straight through here?
Because that's the Dark Vault.
Okay. See? Now, I know what that is. Didn't read the manual.
That's where all the dangerous stuff is.
Yeah, like mega dangerous, dude. Mondo.
Okay, okay, but we still... We can't loop around. I say we take the risk.
I agree. It's not often that I agree, but I agree.
Guys, if we're going to do this thing, let's do this thing.
Wait, no, no, no.
You're not going anywhere, Claud. You're going to stay put.
I'm coming with. No, no. We're the agents.
We're the ones that agreed to risk our lives, not you.
Yeah, but this is my home, too. You might need my help.
She's right. She has read the manual.
Am I never going to hear the end of that?
She knows this place, okay? I say that she comes with.
Please. Okay, fine, but you stick close
and you do exactly as we say. All right.
Suicide mission with the team.
Kind of exciting. I'm excited. Come on.
And, in attempting to save Joshua Donovan,
you placed his sister, yet another civilian, in danger.
I'm sorry. Excuse me, please.
If this is about MacPherson, then why am I being asked about cases
that have absolutely nothing to do with MacPherson?
Agent Nielsen, I will ask the questions.
It might be wise to let this run its course for now.
All right, fine. Fine. Yes. Yes.
In saving Joshua, I maybe put Claudia in a little danger,
but I promised her that if...
You promised?
It sounds as if personal feelings
became involved in professional judgment.
This has been an issue in the past, has it not?
It may have come up, but his artifact-retrieval rate is excellent.
It's the highest in years. Thank you.
It's simply the facts.
Very well, then. The facts.
Thank you, Theadora.
Did you or did you not, on two separate occasions, involve Daniel Dickinson,
A high-ranking Secret Service officer, in Warehouse 13 matters,
all of which were classified at the highest level?
Yes.
We have a unique relationship with the United States government,
a relationship that your actions have now complicated.
I contacted a fellow government official
in the normal course of performing my job,
a job to which I have dedicated the last 40 years of my life.
No one's questioning your dedication, Arthur.
What we are questioning, Agent Nielsen, is your future.
It's sealed with an omega-level security code.
Can you hack it? Pope, Catholic, bear, woods,
you know the drill.
And done.
Man, this place is creep-tastic.
Okay. Don't look, don't touch. Just keep moving.
These objects are so dangerous
they can only be controlled by purple containment fields.
Why are the neutralizer systems still working in here?
Backup generators because everything's so dangerous.
Don't worry. They should hold up long enough for us to
Realize my karma sucks.
We're starting to lose them. Just keep moving.
This is going to take me a minute. Is it a different code?
Yeah, I gotta use an FTL ASCII binary algorithm.
Did you just make that up?
Hey, little guy. What are you in for?
Almost there. Hang in there, guys.
And we're good.
Okay, let's go.
Pete? Pete?
Pete?
Pete, what are you...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pete.
Crap. Pete! Can you hear us? Pete, what are you doing?
Pete, come to the door. Pete!
Pete, can you hear me? Pete, are you okay?
Pete. Pete, are you okay?
Attention, Warehouse agents.
Mrs. Frederic. Thank God.
Emergency evacuation required.
Repeat, emergency evacuation required.
Mrs. F, we're down here!
Energy levels approaching critical mass.
That's a recording. Yeah.
Emergency evacuation required.
That's the most I've ever heard her say.
I know.
Well, this is a whole other code level.
It's going to take me a few minutes.
I'm sorry.
You know what? What?
You know what? Step aside. Just stand over there.
What are you...
Okay, that was flat-out awesome.
Pete, what are you doing, man?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. We gotta go.
The circle.
I think it's there for a reason, right?
Pete, what you doing?
Nothing.
He's looking at a typewriter.
It's not just any typewriter. It's Sylvia Plath's.
She wrote this poem called Ennui,
and ultimately, she took her own life and...
Myka, I spend some serious time in the bell jar.
I know who Sylvia Plath is. Right.
What's that thing doing to him?
It's sucking the life out of him.
We have to get him out of the containment field.
Pete.
Pete, can you come here?
Why? What's the point?
What do we do?
There's no time.
Okay, you, go to the Gooery, get it online.
I'll stay here and deal with this.
Like, just on my own, or...
Yeah.
Claudia, you know this Warehouse, okay?
I trust you.
Right. Yeah. No, I'll just...
Yeah, I'll do it then. Go. Get going. Tick-tock.
I have a few more questions.
Do you? Really?
Yeah, I have a few of my own.
Arthur, don't do anything foolish.
This exercise is a pointless and insulting waste of time.
I asked you not to do this.
If MacPherson is out there...
What? Lf? Lf?
I have a wound right here, right here,
in my shoulder that should prove it.
He's out there. He's out there,
and he's planning something far worse
than any of you can imagine. What are you doing about it?
What are you doing? You're tying my hands.
You leave us no choice.
You say MacPherson is a threat, and you use that to justify
violating Warehouse protocol time and time again.
Pretty soon, you're going to be making up your own rules
just to sanction your actions.
Does this sound familiar, Agent Nielsen? Huh?
Sound like someone we both knew?
Mr. Valda, he knows the rules.
He knows that I'm forced to follow them, don't you see that?
And if I'm going to take MacPherson, and I am,
then rules have to be broken.
That's the only thing that'll work.
You know what's not going to work?
Reining in the one person that can stop him before it's too late.
Look at all of you. You know, you're not out in the field.
You're here, hiding in plain sight. What are you doing?
You're judging me, you're judging my methods because
you're afraid of him.
Tell me I'm wrong. Arthur.
No, no, no, no, no.
Mr. Valda, look at me.
You tell me right to my face, tell me I'm wrong.
Yeah, well, either fire me or kill me.
Or let me do my job.
Better make a decision, and you better make it fast
before he makes it for you.
I believe the ball is in your court.
Okay, Pete, we're running out of time here, so...
Okay, look, what I'm going to do,
I'm going to take off my belt. All right?
I'm going to throw it to you, you grab it
and I'll pull you out of there, okay, Pete?
Whatever.
Okay, grab the belt.
Pete, grab the belt. Pete, grab it. Grab the belt.
Okay. You're a rabbit, right?
Pete, you're not a tortoise, so win. Win the race. Just grab it.
Win, lose, what's the diff?
Okay.
Warehouse, give me something.
Give me something.
Thank you.
Okay, Pete.
You again!
You okay?
Yeah. What was that?
Okay, listen, we're running out of time.
The Warehouse is about to explode. Okay, so just come on.
Oh, boy.
Critical mass in five minutes.
Really? Cliche, much?
Yeah.
Gross.
Well, it's not so bad. Kind of smells like chicken.
Critical mass in four minutes.
Are you okay?
I'm okay. I'm just a little drained, that's all.
You go. Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. You go.
Okay. Go.
Myka.
Yeah? Thank you.
Okay, ugly, I'm just going to pull you out.
This is slippery.
Okay, the gloves are coming off.
Yeah. Okay.
Now I want Italian food.
No. Not the plan. Nope.
Critical mass in three minutes. Shut up.
Claudia? Myka!
Hey, I know it looks like I'm having a bunch of fun, but help.
Almost there.
No, no, no, don't touch. Way too sticky.
No point in us both getting ground up.
Okay, pull.
What is this stuff?
If I remember properly, it's hours of fun for the whole family.
All right.
No, they lied. It's not even minutes of fun, really.
Where's Pete? Still bored out of his mind?
No, he'll be here in a minute. Just keep pulling.
Critical mass in two minutes.
Mind if I yell? I'm going to yell. Pete! Pete, help!
Pete. Chicks.
Pete. Pete, you have to find something to cut this stuff.
"Stuff"? You don't mean our arms, right? No.
Don't touch it.
- It's sticky. MRS. - Attention, Warehouse agents,
energy levels are now at omega levels. Critical mass in one minute.
We're boned.
How much time did she just say?
Fifty seconds. See, see?
Even on tape, she still creeps up.
Please! Just please go find something.
Okay, okay. Wait. My tool belt.
What?
Right there. Get the snow globe.
Okay.
I got it.
Hey, hey, hey. Use it to freeze the gears.
Pete.
Okay, okay. I got an idea. Hold on.
Hold on, hold on. All right.
30 seconds.
You guys gotta pull really hard. Yes.
You ready? Now.
Attention, Warehouse agents, emergency abated.
Nice work. Thank you.
God. How do you do that?
That was quite a performance.
Sounded better in my head.
So am I fired? Worse.
They want you to stay.
Bering and Lattimer are not the best agents we've ever had.
You are.
They said that? It was said.
And they were smart enough to believe me.
Oh.
Thanks.
Simply the facts.
What about MacPherson?
Good hunting. Try not to get yourself killed.
No, no, no. Don't try to be all friendly with me now.
Um... Hey, Myka? Yeah?
I just wanted to say thanks for, you know, trusting me before.
Claudia, I...
I know what it's like to be your age
and have no one believe in you.
Yeah.
You're good. No, you're really good. You'll be fine.
Thanks.
Hey, you know, if you're not busy later,
maybe you could show me how to do that Kick thing.
'Cause, like, I tried it on a light switch and I think I broke my toe.
And I know I broke the light switch.
That would be fun, you know,
and maybe you could teach me how to hack into the...
The grid? Yeah.
You want to hack the grid?
I want to hack the grid. Okay. Yeah, I'm down.
Okay, so I cleaned up the last of the mess.
You know, I bet Artie won't even notice.
Won't notice what?
Your welcome-back surprise party.
Surprise!
You look surprised. Doesn't he look surprised?
Tell me.
The zip line crashed and there were these dodgeballs.
Some glob got in the Gooery gears.
And then we went to Leena's B&B...
We went to the Dark Vault and I was standing...
There was a thunderstorm brewing above the Warehouse.
She came over and pushed me. In the Dark Vault...
I cut my arm. We fixed it.
We fixed everything. But it's fixed.
Good as new. It's all...
Totally. Fixed.
How long did you have before the Warehouse was going to explode?
Under a minute. More like 30 seconds.
That's lucky. I once got there with 17.
And her voice gets really annoying
when she's counting down seconds one at a time.
You didn't lose that thing I had made for you, did you? That...
Oh, no.
Great. That's good. It survived. Yay!
Wait, are we not in trouble?
You guys had it under control, right?
That we did, amigo. That we did.
All right. I don't know about you guys,
but I'm starving. Who wants Mexican?
Uh, I do. Need tacos stat.
Artie? No, I had pie.
Well, I almost had pie. But go, go, go, enjoy yourselves.
Enjoy yourselves. Now I want pie.
You always want pie. Who doesn't want pie?
Maybe just bring me one taco.
Whatever.
And rest up
because you are going to need it.
Previously on Warehouse 13...
Whoever stole the sword has other things that belong in the Warehouse,
which would mean that we have competition.
Lattimer and Bering, right?
They're so raw, so untrained, so corruptible.
What about your folks?
Colorado Springs.
They own a bookstore called Bering & Sons.
Well, they must be proud of you.
You ever see that movie The Great Santini?
With the tough dad and the scared kids?
It's like that, huh?
Yeah, except it wasn't over in two hours.
Yeah, just up the street. He's open.
Oh, my.
Myka?
Artie, I'm here,
in MacPherson's apartment.
Myka, be careful.
MacPherson's gone. It's another dead end.
Found him.
Pete's having better luck in Montreal.
How much better?
MacPherson's headed east on Sainte-Catherine!
Artie, I've got the cops on me.
I'll get rid of the cops. You just stay on MacPherson.
There's an alley on the right. He's heading for the subway.
We got him, Artie.
Be careful, Pete. We do not know if he has them.
Artie.
Give it up, MacPherson. We win this one.
Artie, he has the cymbals. He has the cymbals.
Pete, you got to get out of there. Just get out of there.
If you see the cymbals, cover your...
Pete, Artie, what happened? Is everything okay?
Pete?
Pete, can you hear me? Pete!
Nevermore.
Pete, Pete. Pete, you got to get up.
Mom, I'm up. And I won't be late.
I'm okay. I managed to cover my ears.
Where is he Where's MacPherson?
He's gone, Artie.
I lost him.
I lost MacPherson.
Hey, Mom, listen, I'm busy right now. I can't really...
Myka, it's your father.
He started feeling bad, and I...
What?
Just come on home. Just come back. Just come home.
We got to wrap it up.
Artie, I need to go home.
I'm going home. My father's dying.
Dude.
Does Tamara know you're stalking her,
or is this just for makeup tips?
Give it back, Greg.
Boo-hoo, baby.
Yeah, I don't know, Leena. It's complicated.
MacPherson put decoys and bogus informational breadcrumbs...
Put them all over the world.
And my software narrowed them down to two locations,
and Montreal turned out to be, you know, the one that was...
Did you say you wanted no ice in your...
God, don't do that.
Mrs. Frederic, what did you do with Leena?
Sorry, would you care for a... No.
You're here because you want to know what happened.
Two policemen dead, Arthur. I know what happened.
The Montreal police have a dashboard camera in the car.
But I told Pete to... He had the recording...
How did you... Please.
Look, we were following a lead.
You took a shot in the dark.
We hit the center of that target.
With a small caliber bullet.
Pete's caliber is very large. We...
You know what? I'm done with this analogy.
We had an agreement.
You were supposed to gather information.
I know.
Bring it to me. Yeah.
And we would plan to get MacPherson together.
You had no offensive strategy,
no defensive posture, no containment plan.
You were not prepared.
Where's Lattimer and Bering?
Out.
Manage my assets better,
or I swear on the ashes of the first twelve Warehouses,
I will take them away.
I can get MacPherson again.
I don't doubt it.
And you make no moves against him without consulting me first.
Yes, ma'am. Do you have...
How does she do that?
All right, everyone.
Please close your booklets, ladies and gentlemen.
Tamara, can you gather them up, please?
Okey-doke. John Steinbeck's East of Eden.
Betrayal, lost love, jealousy. Good stuff.
Please read the first 50 pages
for discussion tomorrow, if you would.
Have a good one.
Bobby, can you come here for a sec?
You okay? You seem a little distracted.
Computer lab thing. Up late.
Did you talk to her yet?
I've got something for you.
"So with the world thy gentle ways Thy grace..."
Thanks, Tamara.
No problem.
Poetry. Burns, Blake, Byron. That's just the B's.
Let them do the talking for you.
Good luck.
Mom. Mom? Mom.
Myka, hi. Hi.
Your cell phone isn't working, and I tried calling, but...
The battery died. Where is he?
He's fine. Don't worry. He's upstairs.
Why don't you go up and see him?
Sorry I scared you, but he's fine now.
Hey. Hey.
Yep. A wasted trip, kiddo.
You bring a gun in here?
Yeah. It's packed downstairs, disassembled.
I thought you were in the hospital. I thought you were dying.
Your mother overreacted. I'm fine.
It's not a stroke?
No, no, no. Not a stroke.
No, we've got a few more tests,
but, oh, God, you should have heard him screaming.
I didn't scream. I've never screamed in my life.
Do you remember what happened?
No, I don't remember anything
except waking up in the ambulance
wondering what the fuss was all about.
Jeannie, get the girl some food.
Mom, I'm not hungry.
That's because you've starved your hunger nerve to death.
The doctors said it might be a virus.
You're too skinny.
An inner ear or a spinal inflammation.
They've got him on steroids and an anti-viral.
Mrs. B.
Okay, I am gonna need this recipe. The hot sauce is killer.
Great. You've got some...
Look at you.
Sorry.
What are you...
We've met Pete.
He's a pip.
Just got here. Met your dad.
Are these yours? I found them in the kitchen.
Yeah. I'm so sorry. They're for collecting evidence. I'm sorry.
What are you doing here? Well,
I thought you might need the support.
Artie disagreed but was overruled.
By who?
By me, the pip.
Well, I don't need any support.
Miss Independent, me, neither.
Seriously, Dad, I've been here for like what, a minute?
Miss Touchy, too.
Oh, please, Warren.
I've got to go down to the basement.
Eat something.
I'm not hungry.
Well, I'm going to get that guest room ready.
And for your bed, I've got some new flannel sheets I got at Dodi's.
No, no, no. You are my guests.
It's my house. You're my guests.
Wow.
What about work?
Well, work vanished and until it reappears,
I'm here as a friend in this hopefully not-too-stressful time.
I mean, it could have been worse, right? Your dad.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
And you're right, it could have been worse.
Hey, wait. Wait, Myka. Myka. Myka.
Yeah.
I was talking to your dad. He thinks you're still in D.C. They both do.
Well, yeah, and if you tell them any differently,
I swear I will drop a dictionary on your crotch.
What? I'm supposed to tell them that I'm working
for the world's most dangerous Antiques Roadshow?
No, you tell them the truth, or at least part of the truth.
I don't know, something to cut the stress.
I'm not stressed.
You're lying to them.
It's a force of habit, you know?
It keeps my dad from being disappointed.
You have hot sauce all over your face.
"... beauty Shall be an endless theme of praise
"and love"
"...gently To sleep on her breast
"Deeply to sleep From the heaven of her breast"
"... tenderly kissed me She fondly caressed
"and then I fell gently..."
Dad!
Mom!
Myka, get back.
Watch your eyes.
Warren. Warren. What happened?
What happened is your dad's got an artifact.
Myka! Myka! Hey!
Where's the notebook? It's this way.
Myka. Mom, it's okay.
Myka, who is it? Is she...
This is Claudia. We work with her.
What's that?
That is...
Claudia, back here.
That's for me.
No, you wait just a minute. I want some answers, Myka.
Now, first of all, who's the man in the little TV?
His name is Artie.
And is he a doctor? No. But...
No. Your father belongs in a hospital.
This isn't medical.
Mom, this is something else.
And how do you know? You're not a doctor. You protect the President.
Not anymore.
I'm still with the government, but I am doing this now.
What? What are you doing?
I'm trying to help Dad, Mom, so just let me do that.
Trust me, please.
You ready? Yeah.
Mom, just stay here. Whatever you see or hear, just stay put.
But... Just don't move.
Do you...
It'll be okay. They do this kind of stuff all the time, so...
Claudia. I got to...
What's going on?
They're really good at this.
Here it is.
Kill it.
Duck and cover.
What's happening?
Mom, how's Dad?
He's the same.
Why? Was something supposed to happen?
Check his arms.
It's still there.
It's ink.
Ink. Take it out.
Now what?
The neutralizer failed because I think we're dealing
with a bifurcated object.
It's got at least two parts, and they're each dependent on the other.
And that notebook is just one half of the package.
So what's the other half?
You know, based on the manifestations of the ink,
then that would tell me that it's a pen.
Most... Well, a pen. Anyway...
By the way, the shipper's address? That's completely phony.
MacPherson sent it, didn't he?
I don't know that.
So what? He's coming after family now?
What does he want?
Well, he wants to hurt us because we're going after him.
Stop, stop, stop, stop. Just stop it.
We don't know who sent it or why. If it is MacPherson,
it could be revenge, or mischief,
or a diversion so that we're doing this
while he's doing something else.
Just in case, just to be safe, I've...
I'm circling the wagons around Joshua and around Pete's family.
Who or why does not matter.
What matters is your father and the notebook.
Now. Now, listen, I've analyzed the text. It ain't good. It's Poe.
Edgar Allan Poe.
The reason that the book is getting under your father's skin
is because the pen is not with it.
So, what? We bring the pen together with the notebook,
and this all stops?
Yeah.
Well, probably if it follows a typical bifurcated artifact scenario.
It can't be an accident that this book found its way to your dad.
Look, Myka, right now your father is a conduit.
The notebook, the pen, they're linked through his energy,
through his love of the written word.
So where is this pen?
Well, I'm searching for coinciding incidents right now.
You know, I've got all the filters off.
But it's causing trouble somewhere.
But I'll find it. You'll get it.
The next time he has an attack,
I'll trace the pen, you'll retrieve it
and reunite it with the notebook.
How long does he have?
I don't know what you're... How long do we have... What?
How long does he have, Artie? My father can't take this much longer.
A day, maybe two.
But you can help him.
Until I land on something, Myka,
just surround him with his books,
with his world, and read to him, Myka.
Read to him books that he loves,
and use those words to fight what's happening to him.
And just try and keep him connected to reality if you can.
Bobby's not that bad.
Look, all I'm saying is watch out.
Geek love. Ugh.
"I might have been improved for my whole life.
"I might have been made another creature perhaps, for life,
"by a kind word at that season."
Do you want me to take over?
No. No, I'm fine.
He's gonna be okay, Mom.
I'll be back in a sec. I'm just gonna take these dishes.
The freak's probably swiped your panties from gym class or something.
Gross.
Tiger.
Dad?
Tiger.
Stop it.
Fire.
Dad? Fire!
Dad.
Help! Somebody get some help!
Artie's got something.
What?
At the precise moment your dad was shouting, "Fire,"
a kid in Portland, Oregon was burned by some bizarre wall of flame
shooting from his locker. No one can explain it.
Well, what about the "tiger" thing?
Kid's a football star for the Kingford Tigers.
Let's go.
Wait, Myka, I need you to stay here.
I have to help my dad, Pete.
I know, but we've got two artifacts. He's connected to one.
I need you to stay on the notebook. I'll take care of the pen.
Myka, look at me.
No one can help your dad right now more than you can.
I can't let you go alone.
I'll take Claudia.
Keep her safe.
Yeah.
There's something else.
What?
I think I'm hot for your mom.
I'll break it to Dad.
Okay.
I needed to speak with you, Bobby.
Is everything okay? Is the poetry inspiring you?
Not so much.
You know, it seems we had a little burglary here the other day.
The story is that it was one of the pens that Edgar Allan Poe used.
Oh, he used it.
I noticed that you were fascinated with the pen.
Are you saying I took it?
You saying I took it?
I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go to the lounge for a soda,
and if the pen should show up while I'm gone,
well, we'll just chalk it up to something strange and mysterious.
Back in a bit.
Mr. Ives. Mr. Ives.
No.
Here.
Wall? Wall? Wall what?
You.
No.
The young man's burns weren't serious,
but they've kept him out of football practice.
He does have a reputation for scaring people.
Really Does he like horror novels, Stephen King, Lovecraft, Poe?
You're assuming the boy reads. No, he's just a bully.
Look, I mean, how big a deal is this?
I mean, the school's got a reputation to maintain,
and if it gets out that the government is investigating
a teenage prank,
it'll put a lot of parents off.
You mean donors?
Why do you think it's just a prank?
Well, we're not schooling little terrorists here.
Somebody in the science class got tired of Permut picking on them
and gave him a hot foot.
Oh, yeah? How's he doing?
He's fine. You want this open?
No, we'll take it from here.
You'll want to step back, please.
Why? It's not dangerous.
Please.
Thank you.
Okay.
You ready?
Why not?
Okay, we're in business. Here we go.
So, you had any other incidents?
With what? Fire?
Well, anything strange, say a tell-tale heart, perhaps?
What?
Here we go. Got to love Artie.
What's that?
You don't happen to have Edgar Allan Poe's pen lying around, would you?
Well, actually...
Yes?
Mr. Ives' classroom. He likes to collect items from famous people.
The pen is here, then?
Well, was. Got stolen.
This last one was the worst.
I know.
Dad?
If you'd been a boy, I'd have called you Sue.
What?
Johnny Cash. It's a song.
A Boy Named Sue.
Okay.
Make you tough.
Well, I'm sorry I wasn't a boy.
I'm sorry I wasn't a father.
He has regrets.
About me?
Yes. About his life.
What do you mean?
He wanted to write books.
I know.
I know that he wanted to write books.
Did you know he wrote a novel?
No.
Twelve times. Over and over again.
Unpublished. He loved it too much to let it go.
He was afraid.
Where is it?
A long time ago, when he finally gave up, he told me to burn it.
He hasn't written a thing since.
Come on, Pete.
Mr. Ives? Hello?
Nice place for a pen. Soaking up all that Poe juice.
Wow.
Do you know that ravens are actually brilliant?
They've adapted to humans like rats and cockroaches.
They figured out how to figure us out.
What?
Me.
Hear anything?
Just the beating of my hideous...
Stop it. Okay.
Listen.
What is that?
A rat in the wall?
Short story. Guy walled up.
Cask of Amontillado. Of Amontillado.
Here, take it off there.
I don't want avian flu.
Take it! All right.
Mr. Ives?
Who did this to you?
Bobby. Find him. Stop him.
Bobby, not cool.
Myka, something's wrong.
Artie, I need help.
What's this?
A poem. I wrote it for you.
I got to go.
We're losing him.
Myka, just read to him.
Read it.
I have read. I've read him everything, okay? It's not working.
You have to find the words that he loves.
You just have to find a book that means
more to him than anything in the world.
Mom, tell me you didn't burn it.
What? Dad's book.
Aunt Cindy's bureau, the bottom drawer.
Okay, so Ives said that Bobby had a crush on... What's her name?
Tamara.
Tamara. Right. There's always a girl.
What? Don't blame her. Blame testosterone. Crazy, crazy man hormone.
I'm not blaming the girl. I'm blaming Poe.
Bobby?
Crazy, scary man hormone.
Check out Miss Teenage Zombie.
Oh, right.
Bobby and...
Tamara.
Tamara, was it? Right?
That's a nice pen, Bobby. Why don't you give it up, huh?
Come on, give it here.
You've got to be kidding me.
Bobby!
I got it.
Bobby, you've got to stop this.
I know you're all full of Poe up to your creepy eyeballs,
and "Nevermore" and crap, but...
But this isn't fiction. It's real!
This is the most real I have ever felt in my entire life.
"The Blue Willow Sky by Warren Bering. Chapter One.
"When the girl was born, his first thought was fear."
It's beautiful.
Bobby, you're a good person, but you're hurting people.
You're hurting yourself and you're hurting Tamara,
and it has to stop.
People like you don't see me.
You don't believe in me.
People like you need to be shocked into seeing.
You need to be horrified. Then you'll understand.
Understand what, Bobby? Tell me what.
That words have power.
"For her. For his daughter. She was his life."
But this isn't fiction. It's real! It's real!
"She was his life. His only job now was keeping her safe.
"She was his life."
It's working, Myka.
Words have power.
Something's happening.
Go, go! Claudia, get the pen.
Who are you? What...
One second. Nice, Claud. Here's the bag.
Get him to a hospital. This still has a hold on him.
And Myka's dad.
Myka, I got it. Hey.
Hey.
How is he? Is that it?
That's it.
Well, he's not worse, but he's not better,
not completely.
His strength is the only thing
that's keeping that pen from flipping completely out.
Okay, the notebook's in place.
Good. Take the pen, keep it in the bag,
and just, you know, approach the notebook.
I'm on it.
Be careful!
I am. Would you stop yelling at me?
God, somebody turn down his volume or something.
Okay, now what?
You know, put the bag right over the notebook,
turn it upside down,
dump the pen out. Make sure it lands
on the notebook and stays there.
That's it? Just dump it out?
Yeah.
Just lay it on the notebook?
Yeah, this isn't Cirque du Soleil.
Just dump the pen on the book and stand back.
All right.
Artie, nothing's happening.
That's okay. It's all right. It's fine.
It's been a while since they've been together.
Probably they're just getting reacquainted.
Whoa, wait, whoa, whoa.
Dad?
What's this?
Hi.
Did I doze off?
Um...
Sort of.
I was dreaming. You were reading, and...
You didn't burn it.
No.
I did.
Okay, well, I think I've got everything.
- Honey. - Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what it is you do for a living,
but you do it very well.
I mean that.
I'll see you soon, and we'll talk.
We'll talk about something other than books.
Oh, Mom.
Bye, honey. Thank you so much.
And you take care of Pete.
I always do.
Hello. Hello.
Got everything?
Yeah.
Called the cab?
No.
No, no. No, I didn't.
I think, Mr. Poe, that when your things arrive,
we'll stick them in...
Yeah. Madrid Section. That is, if Leena agrees.
Arthur.
Pete and Myka are in Colorado Springs.
Yeah, I know. I should have tried...
And so is MacPherson.
What? How did he...
He was there the whole time.
He had us all distracted.
I think that was MacPherson's intent.
I'll take the Farnsworth.
Good choice.
Hey, Artie. We're heading home.
Myka. Myka, listen. Myka!
That was weird.
Hold on. Vibe?
Huge. Your dad.
What?
Is this Poe? Are we back into the Poe thing again?
I don't know.
You two are good.
I see why Mrs. Frederic drafted you.
I kill this, and it's lights out for Mom and Dad.
You hurt my father.
He glimpsed the mind of one of the greatest authors in the world.
He'll thank me later.
You'll be dead later.
What do you want?
I want what you risked your lives to get.
I'd have done it myself, but I lack the means.
You have until the count of one.
You came after family.
Arthur started it.
What is that supposed to mean?
Ask him.
Pete.
Now let them go.
Do it.
Thank you.
Consider it a loan.
What the hell was that?
Jack the Ripper's lantern.
At least we know where that is now.
He used us from the very beginning.
No, he used me.
Previously on Warehouse 13...
Claudia Donovan, Warehouse 13, next generation.
Don't you want to be with people your own age?
Artie, I'm not my own age.
This place is my home.
MacPherson's headed east on Sainte-Catherine!
I want what you risked your lives to get.
I can get MacPherson again.
I don't doubt it.
You came after family.
Arthur started it.
What is that supposed to mean?
Ask him.
Don't quote Warehouse dogma to me, Arthur. A woman's life is at stake.
Many peoples' lives are at stake. And you made an oath.
I love her, and I'm going in there.
And you love her. I know that you love her, too.
Then you know how agonizing this is for me.
We can save her life.
What about the consequences? She lives, other people die.
You want that on your head? You can't play God.
Well, neither can you. Neither you nor Frederic nor the Regents.
They sit there, Arthur, and they hoard the things that can save the world.
We help them. Well, not anymore. I'm finished with it.
Now, give me that.
No. No, I can't. Give me that.
Arthur.
Five firemen died that night.
Only the woman survived.
Who was she?
Carol Augustine. She lives in D.C. Now. Alone, as far as we know.
And she was MacPherson's wife?
Yes.
Did they ever nail the murdering son of a...
MacPherson was given five consecutive life sentences
and banished from the Warehouse.
So obviously, MacPherson escaped.
After serving two years in confinement,
there was an unexplained explosion in the prison.
Dozens were killed.
We were told that MacPherson was among them.
We were misinformed.
Well, then he shows up at the Japanese embassy in D.C.
Yes, and we've had Carol under surveillance ever since.
I've been monitoring the D.C. Operation,
and he hasn't made any contact.
No, he went after my family instead.
I can understand why Artie's obsessed with him.
Well, this guy has no trouble killing anybody, does he?
As you go after him, you'll do well to remember that.
Come on.
So how do you banish somebody from the Warehouse, anyway?
It sounds very Romeo and Juliet. No, no, no, no.
There's nothing romantic about it. The walls of this Warehouse
are infused with this very rare mineral called Painite.
Before MacPherson was incarcerated,
he was permanently injected with a substance that reacts violently
when in proximity of this Painite.
Violently? Mmm-hmm.
Could you be a tad more specific with your modifiers?
I could.
If MacPherson were to enter this Warehouse,
then his blood would turn acidic
and immediately eat through his own veins.
Dude. Indeed.
Where are you, by the way? Already through the Middle East,
heading into North Africa. I'll find him.
Yeah. It's what I does.
Well, you may have met your match
when it comes to hacking through with MacPherson.
Oh, yes. Who the best? What? What?
You got a nibble? A chomp.
What? Edgar Allan Poe's pen...
Let me see. ...for sale.
No. Let me see. Excuse me. Uh-huh.
Collection? Why would he be selling artifacts if...
Don't... Don't click that!
Um...
I always run a virus scan before I enter an unknown site.
That's a good idea. So, yeah.
No. No, no, no, no. You do not shut down the Claudi-o-meter.
Terribly, terribly sorry.
Life in the cyber world, bro. I'm going to need a sec.
You know, you could try... Touch it and die.
Thank you for waiting, gentlemen.
Mr. Freitag, I feel that this may be of
particular interest to you.
What exactly does this do, Mr. MacPherson?
Run your fingers along the rim.
Consider it a gift, a taste of things to come.
Mr. MacPherson, what other artifacts will be for sale?
Mr.Pak, already greedy for more, I see.
Well, I am in the process of collecting others as we speak,
but in the meantime, behold the Phoenix.
This is the reason why we're here in my factory,
this demonstration.
Very perceptive, Mr. Freitag.
Yes, I didn't think that cautious gentlemen such as yourselves
would want to spend this kind of money on hearsay or legend.
You would be correct.
Carson, would you just hold this for a moment?
Thank you.
What are you doing, man? He'll die in there!
Patience! Patience.
Patience.
Yes. There.
As you see, in the right hands, this can be uniquely useful.
What is it What's wrong with them?
Cause and effect, gentlemen, cause and effect.
Even anomalies are bound by their own laws of nature.
Insignificant collateral damage,
but appropriate for a demonstration.
Mr. MacPherson, make it stop.
It cannot be stopped.
For every life the Phoenix saves, others will be lost.
Those who touch the Phoenix, they will be spared,
but others are less fortunate.
You dare to do this in my factory?
A demonstration, Mr. Freitag.
If you haven't the stomach for it,
perhaps the Phoenix is not for you.
Gentlemen, imagine this tool in the hands of one of your patriots.
The commitment of a suicide bomber
who never, ever dies.
I managed to crash the computer system, so I'm sorry.
Until we're up and running, deaf, dumb and blind.
Don't worry. I'll get us back online. A girl loves a challenge.
Oh! It's just great.
The fate of the Warehouse in the hands of a 16-year-old kid.
Okay, 19. Nineteen.
And the same kid who found you
and hacked into super-Secretville once already.
Okay? A little faith, please.
Why is he selling the pen?
I mean, God knows what else he's got. What is he up to?
Okay, let's go over what we don't know. That could take weeks.
Months. Hmm. Years. Hmm.
Look, Artie, you must have forgotten something.
You know MacPherson better than anybody.
There must be some small detail that you've overlooked.
Yeah, something insignificant, a contact he might have used,
a favorite place, a relative that you might have forgotten about.
You two are, what, interrogating me?
They're investigating. That's why we hired them, is it not?
Um, so, about Carol...
How do you know about Carol?
What did... What... You told them?
Everything?
No, of course you did. Of course you did.
No wonder I'm getting the third degree.
You think you might have asked me before you just blurted out...
Agent Nielsen!
You're forgetting yourself.
Arthur, no one knows what he's capable of better than you
except, possibly, me.
Bering and Lattimer will need to know everything if they're to survive this.
Everything.
Yeah, sorry. You're right.
It's just that I never should have gone to see Carol in the first place.
When MacPherson went to D.C. And the years had just twisted his thinking,
I just didn't know if I was putting her life in danger.
The three of you need to speak to her.
No. No, no, no.
I've already put enough of a spotlight on that woman.
We've got no choice, Arthur.
She's our only lead.
Dude, don't sweat it. I'll cover it from here.
After being magnetized to the ceiling
and nearly ground up in the Gooery, I think I'm prepped.
What? Why are you shaking your jowls at me?
You should all get going.
I'll stay with Claudia, and she will brief me on those two events.
No matter what he said, you're not safe.
I haven't seen James MacPherson in 15 years.
I never even visited him in prison.
Well, that's hard to believe since he saved your life.
Others died that night in my place.
I wouldn't have made that choice.
And I've never forgiven James for making it for me.
Artie knows that.
You like fresh-cut flowers. I beg your pardon?
They're all around the apartment.
Well, as you said, I like them. Mmm-hmm.
There's a jewelry box in the trash with some wrapping paper.
I had a birthday. Your birthday's in four months.
We're very good at the Google.
There's two umbrellas behind me. One's pink, one's black.
Was it raining three days ago? I think it was.
He's not the man you think he is. Carol.
He's changed. Carol, listen to me.
I would like to protect you from whatever the hell it is he's planning to do.
God, you come barging in here, disrupting my life.
He's only been here a few times.
When was the last?
Three days ago.
Well, it's easy to understand how you would have forgotten that.
What's this? I have no idea.
Let me see that.
This is an Egyptian symbol.
It's a was scepter. Represents power.
The deities used to carry this around as a sign of their control
over the forces of chaos.
It's funny.
It's the same as the pendant you're wearing around your neck.
Oh. Let me see that. That's very nice.
It's from James? Yes.
You know I have to ask you for it, Carol.
Amazing.
You think working in some magical storage unit
gives you the right to do as you please.
Stop protecting him.
I never could decide.
Does Mrs. Frederic hire arrogant people,
or do you just get arrogant by working there?
What is it? I got a really bad feeling.
About what?
I think it's about Artie.
I think... I think he's going to...
Never mind. It's gone now.
"6166 Broadview. " Ironically, the warehouse district.
We're up and running. Taking her to warp speed, Captain.
Okay, so you think you can hack into MacPherson's site?
Well, yeah, duh. But major firewall-age.
I mean, you get past one, and there's another one set up right...
Claudia? Claudia, what's wrong?
Who's that?
That's him.
That's James MacPherson?
Claudia... Leena,
I know him.
How?
He was Joshua's physics professor.
I mean, I was just a kid, but I remember that face.
He was the one who gave Joshua Rheticus' compass.
He contacted me.
What? When?
Eight months ago. I was tracking Artie,
trying to find this place and I hit a snag.
And, out of the blue, I hear from Professor Reynolds, right?
He friends me. We e-mail back and forth.
"How's Joshua?" Blah, blah, blah.
I fill him in, tell him about my project,
and he suggests a few ways around the firewall.
The Warehouse firewall?
Leena, I think James MacPherson
helped me hack into the Warehouse.
Tool and Die factory.
Why "Tool and Die"? What is he doing?
I don't know. Maybe he's got a new career.
He doesn't exactly strike me as the blue-collar type.
All right, this is a German machine, I think. I think they all are.
Why would he go to the trouble... Can I help you?
We're not open to the public.
We're looking for James MacPherson.
There's no one here by that name.
Do you know him? Who are you?
Secret Service. We're going to need to look around.
Yes, well, by all means, make yourself at home.
I hear a loud buzzing. Can you hear it, too?
I can read your lips, but I can't hear anything you're saying.
I can't hear anything! I can't hear.
I can't hear you.
What is going on? What the hell is going on?
What are you doing?
Okay. All right. Just...
There. You can hear me?
Yeah. Yes? Yes. All right.
God. Artie, what was that Okay?
That was the Goblet of Severan.
A Goblet of Severan because, obviously, the Goblet's in the Warehouse,
so there must have been another one that survived.
Well, I bet I can guess what it does.
Right? Pete, here, put this glass in your pocket.
This was designed by a Roman glassblower in 221
for the Emperor Elagabalus, who was a ridiculously incompetent young man.
The only way he could get a room quiet was by using this thing.
It emitted a high-pitched sound and brought everyone to their knees.
I could have used one of those in high school.
Indeed. All right, so why don't we just... Let me...
This has that Egyptian symbol on it.
The was scepter? Yes.
Maybe Carol's...
Like
this.
And now it opens.
Always interesting.
Hold this.
Oh. Hmm.
The Phoenix.
What What?
It's the Phoenix. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here, here, let me see. Let me see. I look great in glasses.
Oh, my... That is amazing.
What What is that?
"Starting bid, $20 million. " It says that?
Yeah, it's like a catalogue.
But the Phoenix is in the Warehouse.
He's selling it? $20 million, and that's just the starting.
No, he can't have it. It's in the Warehouse.
That doesn't make any sense. Why would he sell it?
I mean, he's not doing this for the money.
Yeah, what kind of a villain would...
Listen to me.
The Phoenix is in the Warehouse. He doesn't have it.
Well, but even if he did have it, right,
he's not doing this for the money.
No, he's not doing it for the money.
He's doing it for another reason. I just don't know why.
Here, check it.
This is too easy. He wants us to find these things.
Exactly. Which is what's making me very, very nervous about following this lead,
and making me very nervous about dragging the two of you with me.
No, no, no, no, Artie. No, don't even worry about that.
We can actually go... All right, fine.
Yes, now, obviously it's a trap of some sort,
but he would know that I know it's a trap.
So what is he planning, knowing that I know he knows?
Guys, this...
This has the date, time and address
of the auction, and it's today.
The auction is today.
Is she certain?
She claims that MacPherson was posing as Joshua's professor.
That's how he made his initial contact.
She's very upset. Where is she now?
At the B&B. Your bodyguard's keeping an eye on her.
What is it?
I've just always felt that she was out of tune.
Something hovering. I just could never tell what exactly.
This is troubling.
Do you think that he could still be using her somehow?
Yes?
MacPherson claims to have the Phoenix.
The Phoenix is in the Warehouse.
I know.
I'll get back to you.
Now I'm getting angry.
I told him the Phoenix was gone.
He was genuinely surprised and distraught,
and then he told me about the Goblet of Severan.
Well, here it is, safe and sound.
Open it, please.
Okay.
That's not possible.
He can't possibly have access to Warehouse things unless...
Yes. These new video displays record access, do they not?
Hang on.
There's my access of just a few moments ago.
Let me just toggle back to see the last person.
MacPherson certainly knows how to pick his spots.
Mrs. Frederic. Go ahead, I'll catch up.
I feel like Custer walking into Little Bighorn.
If he wanted us dead, he's had several opportunities.
This? This is about something else.
All right. Well, what?
Okay, this is the place. This is the time. There's nothing here.
Hey, guys, the Phoenix and the Goblet of Severan,
Mrs. Frederic says they've been taken from the Warehouse.
And she seemed shaken.
Mrs. Frederic seemed shaken? Yeah.
That is so not comforting.
Oh, great. Great. So what do we do now?
Just wait for MacPherson to drop a net on us?
If he's ahead of us, we can't see him.
We're going to have to follow the trail he leaves until we can see him.
And we watch each other's backs.
What?
Good afternoon. Huh.
Do you see that?
Did the boy cause this?
Artie. Artie, you still got those glasses?
Good idea. You know, I think I may...
Oh, I thought I knew what these were.
This is... But they're not the originals.
He replicated Timothy Leary's reading glasses.
But why? Check these out.
The guy who gave us LSD?
Yeah, Dr. Leary experimented with a lot of different ways to see beyond
what our brains are capable of seeing.
Okay, can I see those, please?
You know, the originals, when you put them on,
you never want to take them off.
Tell me about it.
Artie? Yeah.
That wooden box, can I see that? Thank you.
Fancy.
James always did have a flair for the dramatic.
Ladies first. What?
Uh...
Yeah, age before beauty.
What? He's older than me.
He's older than both of us put together.
All right, shut up.
Hold that. Children. I'm working with children.
Hand that to me.
Be careful. Here.
Okay, don't tilt it. I've got my lunch in there.
Lower. Okay, I got it.
These are Warehouse 13 crates.
Okay, it's really bad again.
What is Your vibe? Yeah.
About... Yes.
Well, when did you get it again?
As soon as we walked in here. It just kicked me in the gut.
Well, are you sure?
Yeah, that's why I'm telling you.
Yeah, but you can't tell him
unless you're positive. Okay, okay, stop. Stop.
What are you talking about? What vibe? About me?
Yeah. What about me?
Look, I don't know. Artie, man, I hate this.
Just tell me exactly what you're feeling. It's nothing.
I mean, I don't know yet.
Look, Artie, all I know is I've got a really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
When you get a really specific feeling, just let me know, will you?
You'll be the first.
Okay, look, down here.
See? Yeah.
I'm going to go down there alone. Yes.
And I want you guys to go back around that way.
I think it meets up around the other side.
No, no, no. No, Artie. Artie. Artie, no.
We shouldn't split up.
Look, if he really is planning an ambush,
don't you think it's best that we're not all caught up in it?
He does have a point. He has a point.
Artie.
Keep your Tesla handy.
I'm fine. Go.
I don't want to tell you anything more about it, gentlemen,
because I prefer not to have any competition in the bidding.
But it is all true.
We were there.
Everything Mr. MacPherson talked about...
I've seen it with my own eyes.
In the ashes, to survive the blast of a furnace.
And seeing truly is believing, wouldn't you say, gentlemen?
Thank you all so much for joining me here today.
Mr. Pak, how are your ears? A little better?
How's your vibe now?
Not good. Not good.
As Mr. MacPherson has told you all...
What's he doing? I don't know.
The price of this particular item
is starting at 20 million U.S. Currency.
Okay, possibilities.
Artie knocked MacPherson out and is pretending to take his place.
Yeah, but they knew him. They called him Mr. Nielsen.
No, MacPherson has some kind of mind control over Artie.
Well, that's a strange way to use it. Well...
Okay, Pete,
what if Artie's trading in 30 years at the Warehouse for $20 million?
Or... Snap. What?
Artie is MacPherson.
Uh, no, come on. You don't actually believe that, do you?
Hold it right there, buddy.
Yeah, yeah. Stay there until we figure this out.
Cut it out, you two. That's not me. I'm me.
Well, how are we supposed to know that?
Look.
Security cameras. So?
He's setting me up.
I mean, he tried to do it a few weeks ago with the Honjo Masamune.
You don't remember?
He went after the sword, plus he dug up my past.
I was arrested for treason.
This time, he's going to make sure it sticks.
And that must be why Mrs. Frederic sounded so strange.
So, what, did he go out and get an Artie suit? Huh?
How do we know that you're not him pretending to be you?
The Thimble.
You really did read the whole manual, didn't you?
I did. What thimble?
Harriet Tubman's Thimble.
She wore it as she stitched the rags of her fellow slaves.
It became imbued with her dream of a better life,
and it developed properties of light refraction so that people saw an image
different from the image of the person wearing the thimble.
It came in very handy for the Underground Railroad during the Civil War.
All right, well, let's just go in and blast them.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, he's expecting that.
Well, what's he not expecting?
This... I didn't...
No. No, there's no way.
There's absolutely no... Claudia. Claudia.
Leena, Mrs. Frederic, this place is my home.
I would never do anything to hurt any of you, least of all Artie.
We know you wouldn't, not on purpose.
What does that mean?
Do you think he put some kind of bug in my brain or something?
There are any number of methods to create sleeper agents.
Apparently, MacPherson has amassed
quite a collection of Warehouse artifacts.
Then torture me! You people do that.
You've got to have some kind of truth serum laying around here somewhere.
Pump me full of it. Read me.
Read my colors, tell my fortune, whatever it is you do.
You can tell, right?
Yes, I can.
And I have. Claudia, I'm sorry, but something is wrong.
Oh, my God. I'm like the freaking Manchurian Candidate or something.
What the hell! Let her go.
For the time being, it's best if she weren't in the Warehouse.
What if she disappears? She's being watched.
I have never seen her this upset before.
That's what made James such an excellent agent.
He'd get inside your head, throw you off your game.
Just when you thought you had the upper hand, he'd strike.
$48 million going once, going twice...
Sold for $48 million to Mr. Pak.
And when I get confirmation that the money is in our account,
then the Phoenix will be yours.
Wrong again, Arthur.
Remember these?
Gentlemen, this next item is something
that we went through a great deal of trouble to acquire.
Edgar Allan Poe's notebook and his pen.
Together, they give their owner the unique ability
to make what they write actually happen.
What is that? It's a fire alarm. We must get out of here.
There's no need to panic. Mr. Nielsen,
I'd rather not be here when the authorities arrive.
Excellent point.
Next time, Mr. Nielsen. Gentlemen, you don't...
Federal agents! Don't bother.
I'm sorry you went to all that trouble getting Poe's pen.
I guess you wasted your time attacking my family.
Okay, pal, time for you to finally get yours.
Just don't kill him.
He's an excellent bodyguard. I'd hate to lose him.
Then who the hell...
James MacPherson, you're under arrest.
Aren't you adorable?
You didn't really think it was going to be that easy, did you?
Do you remember our old friend Erik?
He made those wonderful implosion grenades
which I demonstrated for you a few weeks ago.
Before his untimely death, I had him bring back yet another old favorite,
the Eggshell Bomb.
This time with a pinch of promethium.
If the slightest pressure cracks the shell,
it results in a small nuclear reaction.
Small, but dazzling.
Carson.
Now, you two drop those little toys of yours
Or Arthur will lose his footing.
Thank you.
Jaw getting tired, Arthur? Won't be long now.
You were a Warehouse agent.
What the hell happened to you?
Fifteen years of exile.
And now I want to give Arthur back the gift he gave me, but unfortunately,
you're going to be tried for your crimes posthumously.
In your soul, you believe as I do.
That's the vibe you've been feeling.
How do you know what I'm feeling?
Because I know you, Peter Lattimer,
better than you know yourself.
I was you.
Shall I tell you the thought that crosses your mind occasionally?
What if these artifacts really do belong out in the world
instead of being locked up by a gang of autocratic Regents
who see the universe through the blindness of their own bureaucracy?
Walk out of here with me now
and follow what you know to be true in your soul.
That's a nice speech. It sounds even better with the fancy accent.
But it still doesn't cover the fact that
you are out of your gourd, MacNuttypants.
You put a bomb in a man's mouth.
Not really a great recruiting tool.
Fair enough.
Well, I'll be saying goodbye, then.
What, do you expect us to just let you walk out of here?
No, no. I expect you to die while you're trying to save Arthur.
And I'd say he's got about 30 seconds.
Hey, Mac!
Good catch.
So we're never turning him in to the government?
The government? No, I don't think so.
He's already proven that prisons can't hold him.
So then what happens to him? I mean, we're not going to,
you know... No, no, no, no.
Although he would happily kill all of us without blinking an eye.
No, we don't operate like that.
We'll put him in the Bronze Sector.
Arthur, I'm honored.
Okay, look, I promise to read the manual this weekend,
but what is the Bronze Sector?
Actually, I don't remember that being in the manual.
Bronze Sector, children, is where
the most dangerous people in history have been...
What's the generous phrase? Preserved.
Yes, preserved.
People whose removal from society had to be certain,
they're put in the Bronze Sector.
Locked for all eternity in Warehouse 13.
How poetic.
Even a twisted mind can be an artifact.
Let's go.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Not that I can think of.
My blood. If I remember correctly,
my veins will burst upon entry.
I say we give it a try, see what happens.
James, what a bittersweet reunion. You've aged.
Mrs. Frederic, you haven't. You must tell me your secret.
Perhaps on a warm summer day over tea.
Perhaps not.
All this time you've had them.
How simple. I wish I'd thought of it.
What are those?
Crystalline diamonds with a trace of palladium.
Palladium? Yeah,
it neutralizes the minerals in his blood.
So he doesn't go kablooey.
Unfortunately.
Wow.
That is a load off my mind.
Goodbye, James.
Yeah, let's go. Let's go.
So why is the Bronze Sector not in the manual?
No, no, no, it's far too dangerous for there to be a written record.
If someone were to find this place,
somehow reverse the process...
The point is, we don't want these people out in the world.
So this place is filled with, like, the worst guys ever, right?
Hitler, Mussolini, Michael Vick?
No, no, these are men and women
who would have become Hitlers and Mussolinis.
Or worse, except we got to them first.
A room filled with evil that you've never heard of.
It seems so unfair.
No, this is a process that was first explored in...
Mesopotamia. In 1230 BC...
Uh, '50.
1250 BC.
Anyway, the bronzing process was too heavy,
and it kind of cracked open.
Let's just say it was unsuccessful.
Here, what we do is we flash-freeze the bodies cryogenically
and we preserve them by bronzing.
Unfortunately, it's a painless process.
Really? How many times have you tried it?
It's about as painful as a sword in the chest.
Touche.
What a beautiful creature.
A farewell gift, Arthur? You shouldn't have.
Just ignore the monster in the cage.
Pete and Myka, the stolen artifacts have been loaded in.
Can I get your help replacing them?
Fine by me.
I'd rather not see this.
Wait. Come on, I want to watch this.
When's the next time something like this is going to happen?
Hopefully never.
Who says you can never go home again, eh, Arthur?
James.
You know, I thought I'd have a lot more to say to you.
Goodbye, James.
Arthur, we can still be partners.
Pleading for your life, that's out of character for you.
I'm not pleading for my life. I'm pleading for yours.
You know, maybe I should go check on Artie.
I'm sure he's fine.
You know what? I'll go check.
I'll be back in a second. Okay.
What a waste.
Downtown, baby
How she looks so...
Turn around.
My dear, thank you for remembering our appointment.
That is a relief.
Wave to Arthur so he can enjoy the tape later.
We're clear.
You won't be needing that anymore.
So was it all worth it?
Unfettered access to Warehouse 13? Time will tell.
Hmm.
There's work to be done. The codes I implanted
when Arthur tried to access my site need to be activated.
Go on, now.
Tempus fugit.
Late as usual.
How did you... Get away from there!
Or what?
You've had your chance, Arthur. So many chances.
Go ahead, fire it.
You see, there's a way around almost anything, partner.
No!
Artie. Artie?
Artie, are you okay? Artie, hey!
Can you hear me?
Artie, get up!
Artie! Artie.
Artie, get up. Artie, get up.
Pete, hurry! Look out, look out.
No. No. No, no, no.
Artie! Wait, wait, wait!
Wait for us! James!
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
The umbilicus will self-destruct in five, four,
three, two, one.